Three and in – not just another football blog

They say you can never go back.

As last season approached its dramatic denouement, giddy with excitement I decided to pick the best Manchester United XI of my time going to football matches (1988-present). Yes, these things are entirely subjective and mostly pointless but that doesn’t stop them being quite good fun. After due (or should that be Jew?) consideration, I went for Schmeichel in goal, a back four of Neville, Ferdinand, Stam and Irwin, a midfield comprising Ronaldo, Keane, Scholes and Giggs then Cantona and Van Nistelrooy up front. I picked substitutes too, primarily because I got carried away. On the bench then, Van Der Sar, Bruce, Vidic, Robson, Beckham, Solskjaer and Rooney. All under the watchful eye of Mike Phelan of course. It struck me that I really have been exceptionally lucky. No place in the squad for the likes of Cole, Kanchelskis, Evra, Sheringham, Fletcher or Yorke. Not the only notable omissions. I tweeted my verdict and immediately received a text from my brother, an Arsenal fan. ‘What about Hughes? You loved him as a kid.’ I did. I still do.

Now there is only one valid choice of favourite player for any United fan of my generation. King Eric. Le Dieu. But just as there is only one correct answer to the question, ‘who is your favourite Simpsons character?’ sometimes it’s worth thinking outside the box and determining a number two. And though he may not have even made my bench, best and favourite are not the same thing, and Sparky is unquestionably my Chief Wiggum.

Mark Hughes played for Manchester United from 1980 to 1986 then again from 1988 to 1995. During these two stints he notched up 467 appearances for the club and scored 163 goals. That tells the whole story in one sense but in another it tells you nothing. Those statistics are not the reason I loved the man and his tree trunk thighs. Age is a key factor. I am too young to remember Hughesy’s first spell at Old Trafford but his second neatly coincided with my burgeoning interest in the beautiful game.

One of my earliest sporting memories is the Welshman’s brace against Barcelona in the Cup Winners’ Cup Final of 1991. Both the competition and United’s goalkeeper on the day are no longer with us but to me it feels like yesterday. I can picture the second goal perfectly and regularly do. My mind’s eye always opts for the angle of the camera placed in the bottom right hand corner of the net. The ball breaks free, Sergio Busquets’ Dad (yes, really) comes charging out of his goal in those ridiculous tracksuit bottoms, Hughes knocks the ball past him but he’s gone too wide surely, Barry Davies thinks so, the 6 year old me thinks so, and then, from an impossible angle, bang, it nestles beautifully into that bottom corner. I didn’t know the game was against the former club at which he’d been deemed a failure, or that it was United’s first European trophy in 23 years, or that Barcelona were huge favourites on the night. It didn’t matter. Everything and everyone seems larger than life when you’re small and Leslie Mark Hughes seemed the biggest of the lot.

Fast forward to 1992. The inaugural Premier League season. I distinctly remember larking about with my toys on my own. In the next room my Dad is watching United take on Liverpool at Old Trafford. He had sat me in front of the European final but clearly decided a league game was less crucial in terms of building character. Still, the TV is on in here too even if I’m not focused on it. A cheer from the next room alerts me to the fact that United have pulled one back with ten minutes to spare. I look up and see it’s that man Hughes again. He’s lobbed Grobbelaar. It only dawns on me as I type this that it might just have been the first lob I ever saw. I put down Kermit and Fozzie and decide to watch the remainder of the game. Teams don’t come back from 2 goals behind surely? 90th minute. Diving header. Hughes, M.

Fast forward again, this time to 1994. I am by this stage an addict. I have seen lobs, headers, volleys, you name it. I’ve also seen my team win the title. As my Dad memorably told me ‘I’ve waited 26 years for this, you saw it in 2.’ I was blessed. And now United are on the verge double for the first time in their history. At this point I am well read on such matters and am aware of the fact that even the great Sir Matt Busby never managed to lead his side to the league and cup in the same season. Deep into extra time of the FA Cup semi-final and Oldham are 1-0 up. United look devoid of ideas. The ball is hopefully punted long, Oldham fail to clear, it hangs in the air for an eternity before Sparky strikes the sweetest volley you will ever see. Pandemonium in our household. We scream then run round the dining room table before collapsing in a bundle on the sofa in hysterics. He’ll hate me for mentioning this but it is the only time I can recall my brother celebrating a United goal before or since. Let the record show it was the goal that won the double. To this day if my team are behind late on I will implore them to ‘do an Oldham’.

We all have hundreds of such memories. People and places that perfectly evoke a time to which we can never return. Do I care that the lad from Wrexham went on to manage City? No. What I remember is my Dad’s VHS of the 1990 FA Cup final that I watched and rewatched at a time when live football on the TV was rare. Yet another double from Hughes. And the moment on the 92/93 season review video when Giggs skins his aging marker and the commentator says ‘it’s like a Mini trying to catch a Porsche’ then a pause as the young Welshman whips in a perfect cross for his compatriot to bury, concluding ‘and there’s the Rolls Royce waiting in the middle.’ Perhaps I think of those goals more often than the man himself, maybe that’s the nature of being a fan. Hughes was everything I’d like to be if I were a professional footballer and boy would I like to have been one. Strong, brave, a propensity towards scissor kicks and outrageous volleys that bordered on the staggering coupled with an incredible awareness and ability to hold the ball up. Calm and quiet off the field, quite the opposite on it. If my relationship with Wayne Rooney is much like Mad Men, almost impossible to love however hard I try, then Mark Hughes must be compared to The Sopranos. Pure, unadulterated enjoyment. And he had two spells for the club.

They say you can never go back. Fuck ‘em.

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You can find ‘Big Ask’ on twitter here.

Arsenal fans today reacted with fury at the club’s elimination from the Champions League at the hands of Barcelona. Arsene Wenger’s men were roundly beaten just seconds after the draw was made.

“It’s a disgrace”, said Top Gooner from 7, The Internet. “I’ve seen some spineless displays in my time but this was the worst I’ve ever seen. Where was the fight, the spirit?”

His sentiments were echoed by AFC4Lifewhenwewin from Twittersville Avenue. “You could tell from the first minute it was going to be one of those nights. Once again Arsenal were spineless. Wenger out!”

“I agree”, said Bob Misery of the well-respected Doomblog website. “It’s as if Arsenal simply didn’t turn up. How can we have any faith in this team if we’ve been beaten so easily, so quickly? It’s clear that only the arrival of Hiddink or Rijkaard, backed up by the signings of Mertesacker, Jagielka, Shay Given and Joe Hart, as well as Kaka, a young Roberto Carlos, Ibrahim Affelay and Eden Hazard can save us now. Otherwise we’re going to playing in the SPL next season”.

The Gunners now face two meaningless games against Barcelona in February and March 2011 in which Lionel Messi will tear the Arsenal defence a ‘new one’. This is particularly harsh as Messi already tore Arsenal a new one back in April which still hasn’t healed properly.

Barcelona beating Real Madrid 5-0 might well be uncommon but at the same time it wasn’t surprising. Anyone who has watched them – or indeed travelled to see them stuff your team in a Champions League quarter-final – will know that when they click they are simply unstoppable.

It’s safe to say last night was one of their clickiest ever and they deserved the win and the scoreline. And I know we know this already but they did it with eight players who have come through their youth system. Only Villa, Alves and Abidal are ‘outsiders’.

It’s a testament to the Barcelona set-up, they have produced a couple of generations of outstanding footballers, so it just makes you wonder what Real Madrid would be like if they had invested just some of the Galactico money on their own youth system. Only Iker Casillas is a Real youth team product.

Does it really have an influence? In games like these, when overall the qualities of the two teams are fairly close, little things can make the difference. Witness Pique holding up his hand to celebrate the 5th goal. There’s no question that winning this match means more to local players than to foreigners. You can be quite sure if Barcelona had lost the Catalans would feel a lot worse than Özil or Benzema or any of the Madrid players do. Leaving professional pride aside it doesn’t hurt the same way, regardless of how much you stress the importance of the fixture.

I looked at Barcelona last night and the thought that went through my head was that if Arsenal players hated the idea of losing to Spurs as much as Barcelona players enjoyed beating Madrid the capitulation from the other week would not have happened.

There wasn’t much in the way of home grown talent on the Madrid bench either and although last night’s performance would have taken apart any team in the world maybe Madrid need to look at a bit more long-term planning when it comes to their team. Maybe they need to take a step backwards to take two or three forwards. More players for whom losing to Barcelona is not just a bad day at the office but simply unthinkable.

On paper there’s not that much between them, on the pitch however they were worlds apart.

Welcome to this week’s round of La Liga action from Week 2 and a look ahead to Week 3.  The headline story from last weekend is, of course, Barcelona’s 2-0 home defeat to league newcomers, Hércules, on Saturday night.  And to a lesser extent, the huge slice of humble pie I must now consume for being so quick to write the Alicante side off in last week’s blog.

In short, Hércules turned up at Camp Nou with a clear game plan and, through outstanding teamwork and unity, achieved a thoroughly deserved win.  There were no excuses for Barça, as was accepted by Pep Guardiola, who refused to blame Spain’s fixture in Buenos Aires the previous Tuesday, and simply admitted his side were unable to solve the problems Hércules caused them and that on the day “they were simply better”.  Paraguayan striker Nelson Valdez was the Catalan team’s nemesis, finding the net either side of half time, firstly with a clumsily struck volley which deceived his (almost) namesake Victor in the Barça goal, following some sloppy defending.  There were no debates regarding the intention, nor the quality, of the second goal however, when Valdez took advantage of the wealth of time and space Barça’s back 4 afforded him, to curl a delightful finish high into the net.  Following my admittedly rather patronising initial opinions on Hércules last week, I will now duly upgrade them to the ‘ones to watch’ category.  Granted, this is hardly going out on a limb, having just seen them pull off a sensational result that no-one else has managed in the league in 16 months, but the La Liga niños, led by Valdez, David Trezeguet (yep, that’s where he is now) and on-loan Royston Drenthe, will definitely cause problems for other teams this year, who have now been duly warned.  Either that or they’ll be complete toss for the rest of the season and make me look like an even bigger idiot than they did last week.  Time will tell, on both counts.

A few hours later, another historic win catapulted Real Madrid above the slain Catalans, Mourinho recording his first league victory in charge since moving from Inter in the summer, beating Osasuna 1-0 at the Bernabéu.  However, as anyone who witnessed the match will attest, it was by and large a dull, dreary affair and Real were far from prolific going forward.  It was left to Mourinho’s fellow Portuguese henchman Ricardo Carvalho to seal the points just after half-time, after a great run from Mesut Ozil teed up Ronaldo, whose shot Ricardo could only parry back to him.  Ronaldo decided to pass rather than shoot – seemingly for the only time on the night – leaving the unlikely hero, Carvalho with the simple task of side-footing into an empty net.

Real’s city rivals Atlético continued their strong start to the season, beating Athletic Bilbao 2-1 to go top of the table, in a niggly encounter in the Basque Country that produced 9 yellow cards, presumably as tempers flared over what the correct Spanish way of spelling ‘Athletic’ should be.  In amongst the acrimony, Forlan and Tiago scored for Atlético before Llorente grabbed a late consolation for the hosts (suspiciously, Forlan again celebrated with his shirt on – maybe he’s grown a third nipple over the summer).

Elsewhere, Valencia beat Racing 1-0 to propel themselves to second and Racing to second bottom in the table, Racing spared last place due to Levante’s 4-1 defeat at the hands of Getafe.  Ex-pat favourites Malaga beat Zaragoza 5-3 away from home, suggesting neither team will do much this season, with that sort of defending.  Conversely, what promised to be an interesting encounter between Sevilla and Depor ended anticlimactically in a goalless draw.

Former Manchester United Italiano Americano, Rossi scored twice for Villareal in their 4-0 defeat of Espanyol, proving himself to be anything but a sloppy Giuseppe (sorry…), with Espanyol having Chica sent off late on, for good measure.  Completing the round-up, Almeria drew 2-2 at home with Real Sociedad whilst Mallorca’s 2,000km round trip to Gijon saw them head back to the island with only air miles to show for it, suffering a 2-0 defeat to Sporting.  

In Week 1 of the Champion’s League, Barça demonstrated their bouncebackability on Tuesday when they began their bid to win their 4^th European Cup by destroying Panathinaikos 5-1 at home, in what was almost the performance of the week (come on, Arsenal were sublime).  With the home crowd fearing a repeat of events 3 days prior, when the Greeks opened the scoring, Lionel Messi decided he wasn’t going to miss out on 2 concurrent win bonuses and turned on the form once again.  Seemingly behind everything Barca did all night, the Argentine scored 2 and created the 5^th for Dani Alves with an exquisite spooned pass.  Despite this, he was still unable to avoid being labelled ‘rubbish’ in an amusingly honest, if not particularly insightful, piece of commentary from Sky Sports, after missing a penalty to complete what would have been his hat trick.  To be fair, it was a rubbish penalty.

Valencia also began their Champions League campaign with a 4 goal win, beating a poor Bursaspor side 4-0 in Turkey.  2 goals from Higuain was enough for Real to open with a 2-0 win at home to Ajax on Wednesday, though Ajax looked a shadow of their former selves.

In the Europa League, Atlético’s run of form seemed to desert them as they began their defence of the trophy with a 1-0 loss away to Greek side Aris Salonika, former Barcelona youth player Javito with the decisive strike to seal the shock result of round 1.  Villareal also lost, 2-0 away to Dinamo Zagreb, in a miserable night that saw captain Marcos Senna sent off for 2 bookings.  Sevilla lost 1-0 at home to Paris Saint-Germain, leaving it to Getafe to salvage some national pride on the night, producing a brilliant comeback to beat Danish side Odense 2-1, having trailed by a goal at half time.  Javier Arizmendi cancelled out his first half own goal soon after the break, before Pedro Rios scored a late free-kick to seal the victory.

So, looking ahead to this weekend’s action the fixtures are:

Espanyol v Almeria (Saturday, 5pm)
Mallorca v Osasuna (Saturday, 5pm)
Sporting Gijon v Athletic Bilbao (Saturday, 7pm)
Real Sociedad v Real Madrid (Saturday, 9pm)
Hercules v Valencia (Sunday, 4pm)
Levante v Villarreal (Sunday, 4pm)
Racing Santander v Real Zaragoza (Sunday, 4pm)
Atlético Madrid v Barcelona (Sunday, 6pm)
Malaga v Sevilla (Sunday, 8pm) 

The matches available on Sky are highlighted in bold.  Although, annoyingly, despite having no fewer than four dedicated sports channels to choose from, Sky appear to only be showing the 2^nd half of Atlético v Barça, preferring to subject us all to Andy Gray’s ‘last word’ on the weekend’s premiership action until 7pm instead.  I for one find it hugely insulting that Sky’s schedulers assume I’d rather watch Andy twat about with that touch-screen gadget that he still doesn’t seem to have familiarised himself with, rather than watch one of the biggest matches of the weekend happening anywhere in the World.  Even worse, the other Sky Sports channels available are showing yank football, a repeat of the 2005 Ashes and International Showjumping.  Showjumping for f*ck sake?!  Still, with any luck the first half might be available via the red button, as it should be a cracker of a game and the first real test of Atlético’s credentials if they aim to compete with the big two this season.

I’ll be back next week to review and preview.  Meantime, enjoy the weekend and what you can of the action from Spain.

¡Hola!

Welcome to the first of my weekly-to-be blogs covering all the ticker, tacker, olés and hankie waving of the Spanish football season.  I’ll be doing my best throughout the season to keep you up to date with all La Liga’s goings on, including pressing issues such as: how many consecutive hat-tricks Messi has scored; who Mourinho is mostly upset with; and how many Barcelona players have publicly outed themselves and declared their undying love for Cesc Fabregas.

Those of you with access to a televison and/or a calendar may have noticed that La Liga is already underway, with the LFP deciding to organise Week 1’s fixtures a fortnight ago, before taking a well earned rest for two weeks, to accommodate the international break.  In a fit of liberty taking akin to George Bush’s early days in the White House, I decided not to bother covering week 1 and simply await the return to action this weekend to post my thoughts.  So, to bring everyone up to speed, what have we missed?  Well, quite a bit actually… But if you’re reading it here for the first time, you really need to, erm, stay in more.  Nevertheless, to summarise;

Real Madrid have a new manager.  Some Portuguese chap – used to coach in England I think.  It is of course, ‘de uno especial’, Jose Mourinho.  Not wishing to overshadow his own arrival and share any limelight, Jose brought an end to the annual practice of signing overpriced, overrated prima donnas.  Instead, he chose – weirdly – to focus on team players with a strong work ethic, bringing in Germany’s World Cup stars Mesut Ozil and Sami Khedira, from Werder Bremen and Stuttgart respectively.  Less surprising arrivals at the Bernabéu were Spanish child prodigy Sergio Canales (from Racing) and Portuguese elder statesman Ricardo Carvalho, from Chelsea, who despite saying he’d “swim to Madrid” to play under Mourinho again, probably just got a flight.  Especially when he glanced at a map and realised Madrid was some 400km from the nearest coastline.  Of the players leaving Madrid, Rafael van der Vaart was arguably the highest profile departure, taking a huge cut in wages (and standards) to sign for Spurs.

Barça also had an active summer, managing to finally rid themselves of Swedish youtube show-pony Zlatan Ibrahimovic, concluding a disastrous piece of transfer business, right up there on a Manchester City-esque scale.  Coach Pep Guardiola also finally landed David Villa from Valencia (pre-World Cup, wisely), Javier Mascherano from Liverpool and Brazilian defender Adriano Correia from Sevilla.  Rumour has it they were also involved in a clandestine and ultimately unsuccessful approach for a Spanish midfielder currently playing in the Premiership, but they kept their cards close to their chest on that one, so we can only speculate as to who that might have been…

Now, before anyone accuses me of ‘big two bias’, this blog will also give plenty of attention (or at least a proportionate amount) to the non-classico teams in the league.  I for one am particularly interested in following the fortunes of newly promoted demigods, Hércules CF, if only because they should provide at least a couple of occasions for me to use lazy journalistic clichés, such as ‘Herculean effort’, each time they achieve a decent result.  Don’t hold your breath for this in next week’s blog though – they’re off to Camp Nou this evening.

After winning the inaugural Europa Cup last year and beating Inter in the UEFA Super Cup, big things are expected of Atlético Madrid this year, despite the loss of Jurado to Schalke late in the transfer window.  World Cup Player of the Tournament Diego Forlán remains to lead the charge though – expect to witness many six-pack revealing goal celebration from him this season.  Seriously, I’ll be keeping tabs on how many yellow cards he picks up for this ridiculous exhibitionism throughout the season.  Jealous, me?

As for the other challengers… well, there aren’t really any title contenders but it’ll be interesting to see how Sevilla and Valencia cope with the loss of some major players and who the movers and shakers in the race for 3^rd place will be (sound familiar, Scottish readers?).

So, on to the football, the season’s curtain raiser, the Spanish Super Cup, saw Lionel Messi demonstrate that he has no intention of taking his foot of the gas, with a sensational hat-trick to almost singlehandedly turn round the tie in Camp Nou, after a first leg 3-1 away defeat to Sevilla.   Barça triumphed 4-0 on the night, 5-3 on aggregate.

In Week 1, Mourinho’s Madrid stuttered away to Majorca where, despite finishing with 5 up front, they failed to break down the islanders and had to settle for a 0-0 draw, giving Jose the perfect excuse to moan to his board about them not buying Drogba for him before the transfer deadline.

Barça started impressively away to Racing with a 3-0 win, Messi, Iniesta and Villa the scorers, with Victor Valdes keeping a clean sheet which included a tremendous penalty save to deny Mohammed Tchite, after a dubious decision to award a foul against Maxwell.

Atlético Madrid started strongly, beating a toothless Sporting Gijon 4-0, including two from Forlan (who celebrated with his shirt on for a change) and one for the soon to depart Jurado.  Simao added a 4^th in stoppage time.  Elsewhere, Espanyol and Valencia both started with 3-1 wins against Getafe and Malaga respectively.  Sevilla went one better away to Levante, coming back from 1-0 down to win 4-1.  A 1-0 home win for Real Sociedad against Villareal, a 1-0 away win for Bilbao at Hercules and goalless draws between Deportivo and Zaragoza, and Osasuna and Almeria, completes the round-up.

At this early a stage the table is still fairly meaningless so deserves little attention, other than to point out that Barça are 2 points ahead of Real, which, if the tight race between them last season is anything to go by, could actually prove to be quite significant later on.  Today’s fixtures include Barcelona v Hércules, Valencia v Racing (5pm GMT), Real Madrid v Osasuna (7pm) and Athletic Bilbao v Atlético Madrid (9pm).  The pick of Sunday’s action sees Villarreal host Espanyol at 6pm and Sevilla entertaining Deportivo immediately afterwards, at 8pm.  Sky are showing all 5 of the games, so there’s plenty to enjoy for the armchair aficionados.

So, that’s it for the for this week, I’ll be back next week to review this weekend’s action and look ahead to Week 3.  Hope you’ve enjoyed my inaugural blog, I look forward to reading any comments.  Unless you’re a pedant desperate to highlight a flawed translation or misplaced piece of Spanish punctuation, in which case – Me cago en tu leche…

Buenos diás.

Some weeks back I touched on the subject of Barcelona and their pursuit of Cesc Fabregas. At that time I said that unless they were prepared to pay his full market value then no deal would take place. Arsenal still hold a strong hand – Fabregas has 5 years left on his current deal and Arsenal are not in any kind of financial position that necessitates a sale unless the price really is right.

On the other hand Barcelona’s finances are an absolute shambles. Sandro Rosell has inherited a great team from his old friend Joan Laporta but a club with a mountainous debt. Rosell talks of ‘cash flow tensions’, there are those who would suggest having to seek an emergency loan of €150m to cover unpaid wages to players and staff a little more serious than that.

As well as that there are concerns that the TV deal with Mediapro (Spanish clubs are free to negotiate their own broadcast deals unlike the collective arrangement in the Premier League) is in trouble as the company is in receivership. It’s hard to imagine that a team as successful and pretty to watch as Barcelona would have trouble finding a new partner but it’s another complication.

There’s been some money in through the sales of Yaya Toure to Man City (£24m) and Dmytro Chygrynskiy – although the sale of the Ukrainian back to Shaktar Donetsk has actually cost Barcelona €10m having paid €25m for him just last summer. Yet even City’s millions, a considerable percentage of which is sure to have been up front due to the Abu-Dhabi owners ability to pay that way instead of installments, made little impact. Barcelona went begging to the banks for money to pay their players. That is a club in real financial difficulty.

So, how on earth can they expect to persuade Arsenal to sell their prize asset? If they’re borrowing money just to keep things ticking over there’s simply no way they can afford the kind of transfer fee if would take to get Arsenal to even consider the offer.

Barcelona have known all along they simply couldn't afford the Fabregas fee

And there’s the other angle too – the player himself. It’s clear that Cesc Fabregas would like to go back to his former club. He sees his friends and former teammates playing beautiful football and winning trophies, at Arsenal the closest he’s come to a trophy since the FA Cup final in 2005 was the 2006 Champions League final in which defeat was inflicted by Barcelona. Since then they’ve never realistically challenged for the Premier League, just reached one domestic cup final and have been exposed in the last two seasons by Barcelona and Manchester United in the latter stages of the Champions League.

As well as that any young man who lives abroad for a time gets the itch to move home, to friends, family and familiar surroundings. You can be sure that Barcelona, from players to officials, chairmen and former chairmen, have filled his head with wondrous tales of how great life would be. And I’m sure it would. But are they being fair to Cesc Fabregas?

It’s hardly as if these financial issues have cropped up overnight. Before he took charge Rosell was urging caution about the situation and the club’s spending. Through making their interest so very public Barcelona sought to destabilise Fabregas at Arsenal. It’s a well-worn tactic. If they could drive a wedge between the player and the club and/or the fans then it makes their life easier and a deal at a lower price is inevitable.

Whatever his desires though, Cesc Fabregas has great respect for Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and most of all the Arsenal fans with whom he has a real connection. If he’d agitated and spoken in public about his desire to leave North London Barcelona would have been sitting pretty. He didn’t, despite pressure, I’m sure, from Barcelona to do just that. Arsenal’s response to the Catalans continued pursuit of the player was unequivocal and definitive.

Barcelona have known all along that they simply couldn’t pay what Arsenal would want yet they led Fabregas to believe they would do what it took to bring him back to the club. They used him, unsuccessfully, to try and drive down the price to one they could just about manage provided Arsenal agreed to a long-term installment deal.

The whole thing has backfired, they have little financial credibility and the idea that they can come up with a transfer fee big enough to persuade Arsenal to sell is ludicrous.

Nobody is foolish enough to rule out Cesc’s return to Barcelona at some stage but if the Catalans really have any interest in the player beyond that as a trophy signing they should call the whole thing off now. Apologise for leading him on, tell him a deal is beyond their means at the moment and let him concentrate on his career. He’s still just 23 with plenty of time on his side to go back one day.

Just not now.

WINNERS

Switzerland – despite losing 1-0 to Chile yesterday they set a new World Cup record for time without conceding a goal. They surpassed Italy’s old record of 550 minutes by making it to 551 minutes. At which point they promptly went one down to Chile. Timing.

Portugal – Having spent all their energy making life difficult for Brazil, North Korea had nothing left against Portugal who took full advantage to spank the dear leader’s men 7-0. With six different goalscorers the Portuguese will be brimming with confidence and goal difference could be vital as they head for a massive game against Brazil.

David Villa - Barcelona’s new striker scored both Spain’s goals as they beat Honduras 2-0. He might have had a bit of luck on the second but there’s no denying the quality of his first. Even a missed penalty, his 5th in his last 7 for Spain, couldn’t blight his evening. If a couple of more Spaniards can find their shooting boots the pre-tournament favourites could well start to scare people.

LOSERS

Play actors -  Chile’s Arturo Vidal was the first offender yesterday. Sure, Behrami’s arms were flailing about the place but his overreaction and exaggeration of the slightest of contact ensured the Swiss player saw red. This seemed to make this Swiss think ‘Anything you can do’ and centre-half Steve Von Bergen held his face as if punched by Mike Tyson as players jostled at a set-piece.

Added to Kader Keita’s histrionics last night it’s a shame this is creeping into games more and more as the stakes get higher.

Pundits and commentators – ITV’s Peter Drury has been guilty before of poor commentary. Referring to Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas as a Barcelona player is typical of his sneering style.

Meanwhile, during the BBC’s coverage of the Chile/Switzerland game, Mark Bright appeared to watching an entirely different game from everyone else, condemning Behrami for his ‘aggressive play’ when it was anything but. His nadir came as he bleated ‘He’s clearly pulled him back there!!’ as slow motion replays showed a Chilean player taking a dive, under no contact whatsoever, to win a free kick. How he is paid actual money to provide this kind of analysis is anyone’s guess.

Khalid Al Ghamdi – The Saudi Arabian schoolteacher/referee handed out a whopping 9 yellows and 1 red in the game between Chile and Switzerland. There was hardly a tackle worth speaking about either. He and his officials fell for Vidal’s Oscar winning performance and his whistle happy approach is one I hope we don’t see much more of in this tournament.

John Terry (again) – two days running for the former England captain. After his ill-judged press conference on Sunday, Terry was put firmly in his place by Fabio Capello:

When you speak, you have to speak privately, not with the media. This is the big mistake. This is very big mistake.

And to ensure Terry’s perfect isolation, Capello continued:

I spoke with some players, and only John Terry said this.

The Italian will be using it to try and draw a decent performance from his most senior centre-half, which would be something neither he nor Carlo Ancelotti has managed for the best part of 6 months now.

Eren Derdiyok – The Swiss striker had a golden chance to equalise in the 92nd minute against Chile. With only the keeper to beat and just 8 yards out he scuffed his shot wide. If he ever sleeps again I’ll be amazed.

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As always your thoughts on these selections are more than welcome, if you have any to add please just comment.

Barcelona midfielder, Xavi Hernandez, is getting quite a reputation. Not for his sublime passing or the way he controls midfield for both his club and country, but for incessant comments about the biological make-up of Arsenal’s Cesc Fabregas.

He appears to be somewhat consumed by DNA. Look at what he’s been saying:

June 2010 – “He’s a footballer made up of Barca DNA. I don’t have any doubt that Cesc would triumph at Barca”

February 2010 – “Cesc is part of Barcelona’s DNA.”

October 2009 – “He is a football player with Barça DNA and he is showing at Arsenal that he is on another level.”

May 2008 – “Cesc Fabregas has Barcelona DNA”

Perhaps Xavi has ambitions to be a scientist or a CSI once his playing career is over but he really needs to focus on other things. It’s just not healthy for a footballer, who should be concentrating on the World Cup, to worry so much about the nucleotides of a fellow professional. A bit like John Terry knocking up Wayne Bridge’s ex, it is a line one should not cross, one of the great unspoken rules of the dressing room. Teddy Sheringham and Andy Cole famously fell out when Sheringham openly mocked the length of Cole’s polymers.

I am quite positive that Xavi has surreptitiously taken samples of Fabregas’s DNA. His constant talking makes that obvious. I can imagine that during one of the Spanish national team get-togethers, Xavi crept into Cesc’s bedroom as he slept and gently swabbed the inside of his mouth. However, it is highly unlikely, despite his enormous wealth, that Xavi has the technology or the know-how to do a full DNA test which would establish Cesc’s genetic make up once and for all.

So the more he talks about Cesc’s DNA the more foolish he makes himself look. He might have patented the two-drag back through pass with the back of the foot (the double heelix) but Xavi is no Watson or Crick.

Not by a long shot.

Barcelona have been very vocal in their pursuit of Cesc Fabregas over the last couple of weeks. So much so you’re reminded of the old adage about a dog’s bark being worse than his bite.

Certainly Barcelona talk a good transfer, they don’t seem too keen on the nuts and bolts of this one though. Outgoing President Joan Laporta seems to be less certain than he was, saying:

We will not sign any players for above market value. We are interested in signing Cesc and Arsenal know that but we will not pay an exorbitant price for any player.

When it comes to market prices, we’ll strengthen where we can but will not pay an unrealistic price.

So what is the market price for a 23 year old, world class central midfield player with 5 years left on his current contract with a club who don’t want to sell him? It’s certainly not the €30m Barcelona keep talking about. That’s what Real Madrid paid for Xabi Alonso last summer. I like Alonso but he’s no Cesc Fabregas.

Last summer Barcelona paid €25m for Dmytro Chygrynskiy. Do they expect us to believe that Cesc Fabregas is only worth €5m more than a Ukrainian centre-half? They paid £28m (with a potential £6m in add ons) for Sevilla’s Dani Alves, who is a fine player but if this is what they’re prepared to pay for him then they’re going to have to get real when it comes to Fabregas.

And isn’t it interesting to note that Barcelona say they won’t pay an unrealistic price for a player less than 12 months after giving Eto’o and £40m to Inter Milan for the mercurial Zlatan Ibrahimovich. Eto’o + £40m for a player who is remarkable on his day but will never produce as much and as consistently as Cesc Fabregas. It’s a bit late to talk about not paying unrealistic prices now.

Looking at what Barcelona are prepared to pay for other players I don’t think Arsenal’s reported £70m valuation of Cesc is too far off the mark at all. There might be a bit of room for negotiation but not much.

What Arsenal are not looking for is not exorbitant. It’s market value and unless Barcelona accept that and put their money where their mouth is – as they have so often in the past – I believe Cesc Fabregas will playing in red and white next season.