Football has been one of the world’s favourite pass times for over a decade. The skill, drama and entertainment that football creates is completely incomparable to anything else, but there’s one thing that truly sets it apart from any other sport… Its characters.
Football has played home to some of the world’s most colourful and frankly unique characters the world has ever seen. From the likes of Alex Ferguson to Ian Holloway, there’s no shortage of brilliant moments that you just couldn’t write.
Here are some of our favourite football manager quotes of all time.
Ian Holloway is nothing short of a gold mine when it comes to weird and wonderful quotes, you could easily fill a book with some of his choice words. Here are some of our Ian Holloway favourites:
“I couldn’t be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season.”
Holloway came out with this little gem after seeing his QPR side beat Cardiff, and again during a Blackpool press conference during in his time at the helm on the west coast.
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Holloway used this comparison after watching his QPR side come across a scruffy win against Chesterfield.
Whilst describing and challenging the possession game, Holloway talked about his preference for a much more direct and upfront philosophy to his football.
“If you’re a burglar, it’s no good poncing about outside somebody’s house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don’t advocate that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”
When asked about his opinion on Cristiano Ronaldo and his performance Holloway came out with this infamous quote.
“He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his is massive.
Jose Mourinho has never been one to shy away from speaking his mind, and certainly not one to doubt his own ability, resulting in a number of strange and hilarious quotes throughout his management career.
After leaving Chelsea by ‘mutual consent’ back in 2007, Jose Mourinho came out in defence of his performance by relating Chelsea’s transfer policy to buying eggs from the supermarket.
Brian Clough, much like Mourinho wasn’t lacking confidence. His self-belief was never more on show though than during in an interview where he took a retrospective look back over his glittering managerial career.
“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.”
Thierry Henry is universally renowned as one of the greatest attacking players to have ever played the game. His pace, tricky and sublime finishing made him one of the trickiest customers around, however Gianluca Vialli had a solid plan when asked how to keep him at bay.
“The only way to stop Thierry Henry? With a gun!”
Sir Alex Ferguson
Sir Alex Ferguson, possibly one of the greatest manager of all time wasn’t one to avoid controversy or speaking his mind. The king of mind games was always a few steps ahead, making for some hilarious quotes throughout his career.
“When an Italian tells me it’s pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure. They are the inventors of the smokescreen.”
The irony of this statement is that this was itself a smokescreen to ensure the referee wasn’t fooled by the Italians who are notorious for bending the rules.
It’s hard to tell if this one was sarcastic from Sir Alex, but who’s to question his judgement!
“If we can play like that every week, we’ll get some level of consistency.”
Sir Bobby Robson
Sir Bobby Robson was notorious for his hilarious and bizarre one liners, producing too many great lines to leave out. The ex-England and Barcelona manager is undoubtedly a legend of the game, but he never did fully developed his media skills. Here are some of his best:
- “We didn’t underestimate them but they were a lot better than we thought.”
- “If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won’t lay any eggs in the basket.”
- “There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game they lose.”
- “Look at those olive trees! They’re 200 years old – from before the time of Christ.”
Although Kevin Keegan has never been the sharpest knife in the draw, these quotes really didn’t help to show him in the best of lights.
- “We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half.”
- “Chile have three options – they could win or they could lose.”
- “You can’t do better than go away from home and get a draw…”
- “The good news for Nigeria is that they’re two-nil down very early in the game.”
- “They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that.”
After feeling particularly hard done by due to dubious refereeing decisions, Ron Atkinson decided to take the high road and avoid shining light on a poor match from the referee with this line.
“I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.”