Three and in – not just another football blog

This is the very dictionary definition of ‘The Best Of A Bad Lot’. I really don’t care for World Cup songs or indeed what you might term football singles. Well, the video to Vindaloo was quite good. But I digress.

This is Rik Mayall almost playing it straight and perhaps producing a song that ought be getting more airplay than it is.

Throughout the World Cup I’ve been enjoying Baddiel & Skinner’s Absolute Radio podcasts. In their latest recording, they mention bumping in to Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger in the lobby of their hotel. Halfway through the encounter, a member of staff appeared with a snack for Arsene: a plate carrying two green apples, and a knife.

It’s decidedly, definitely weird.  We all fancy an apple from time-to-time, but two?  Most odd.

And yet it’s entirely credible.  It seems to suit him, like Fergie’s claret, or Big Sam’s cholesterol-lined pie.  I can imagine Arsene delicately peeling his apple, aiming for precision technique whilst bemoaning others who just much carelessly through to the core.  Try telling him it’s the same result in the end and he won’t have it.

Anyway, eventually he’ll have got rid of all the big, valuable bits of the apple until he’s just left with tiny seeds.  One day the seeds will grow up to be big, valuable apples themselves.  And then they’ll go to Barcelona.

Painfully extended metaphors aside, we seem to have solved one of football’s great mysteries: just why Arsene Wenger is so incredibly thin.