Three and in – not just another football blog

WINNERS

Vincent Enyeama
The Nigerian goalkeeper provided the tournament’s first outstanding individual performance against Argentina, winning his duel with Lionel Messi and keeping the scoreline at a respectable 1-0.  Despite being only 5’9″ tall, he lived up to his nickname ‘The Cat’ with a string of extraordinary reflex saves.

Diego Maradona
Yes, his cheap suit made him look like the world’s least trustworthy car salesman, but the World Cup’s most mental manager was on good form.  His touchline antics were as entertaining as his 3-4-3 formation, and whilst his disjointed team might struggle against better sides they’ve started with the positive momentum Maradona will have craved.

LOSERS

Rob Green
Emerged from the cocoon of speculation over who’d start between the sticks as a true England goalkeeper.  Move to Arsenal looks all the more probable.

Fabio Capello
Capello had two difficult calls to make, and he picked Green and James Milner, who was withdrawn after a torrid half-an-hour in which he picked up a booking and struggled to contain Hannover right-back Steve Cherundolo.  In his place, Capello brought on Shaun Wright-Phillips as a left-winger.  Bemusing, to say the least.

Greece
Greece’s game plan relies on keeping a clean sheet, and scoring a solitary winning goal, probably from a set piece.  Fall behind, as yesterday, and they’re tactically inert.  A side so boring and inflexible do not deserve to go through.  Fortunately, they won’t.

ITV
I think the kids call this an “epic fail”.

WINNERS

Siphiwe Tshabalala
The man with a name like a Vengaboys song scored an absolute scorcher to get the tournament underway, and looked an exciting if unpredictable force on the wing.  A dream move to Portsmouth or Wigan awaits.

Abou Diaby
Having been far from certain to start, he ended the evening as the best player in what was admittedly a shocking French display.  Showed flashes of dynamism in a team which was otherwise pedestrian.

Rafael Marquez
Not so much for his goal against the host nation as for the blissful hush that descended in its aftermath.  Yes, that’s right: for a few brief moments, Marquez silenced the vuvuzelas.

LOSERS

Yoann Gourcuff
Hyped by some as the new Zidane.  On last night’s evidence looks more like Yann Kermorgant‘s crapper brother.

Oscar Perez
Mexico’s goalkeeper is five feet and seven and a half-inches tall.  You’d be excused for assuming he must have loads of compensatory talent to have made it as a goalkeeper.   You’d be wrong.

R-Kelly
The man Peter Drury crowned as ‘The King of R’n'B’ said of his opening ceremony performance:

“I’m really hoping that with this song we can promote world peace first, and help with global-warming, and humanity around the world.”

It’s been a day, and none of that seems to have happened.  Empty promises.

Emmanuel Adebayor, Pundit
For the most part, I thought the BBC’s coverage was superior to that of ITV, but their choice of Adebayor as pundit continues to perplex.  He’s certainly charismatic, but he remains barely comprehensible.  The producers have simplified his name to ‘Manu’, but they can’t simplify the machine gun chatter of the Togolese front-man.  I had great fun yesterday turning on live subtitles and watching as they attempted to keep up with his rapid-fire analysis.