The tale runs that a 2 year old octopus by the name of Paul is a football match outcome predicting machine. Or cephalopod if you want to get picky.
What happens is 2 jars are placed before Paul, each containing an indentical tasty tentacle treat.
Each jar is marked with a flag of the nations competing in the nominated match.
Tanja Munzig, Paul’s aquarium boss says Paul the octopus not only chose a mussel from a jar with the German flag on it ahead of one in a similar jar bearing the cross of St George, prior to yesterday’s game, but he has a 70% success record.
So look out for men wielding live eels and goldfish in your local bookies.
Ghana – anyone who has had to listen to ITV’s consistently patronising commentary about the plucky little Africans will have uncurled their toes at some stage and thought about various ways in which they might kill Peter Drury. Nevertheless, for the tournament itself it’s good that we still have an African represenstative.
It might be different for us watching from afar but for those on the ground it’s clear that it means a lot to the South Africans, and I’m sure many others, that Africa maintain a footballing interest in the tournament.
Asamoah Gyan – he looks like he could kill you with his patented death stare, but the Rennes striker is really making a mark at this World Cup. He showed pace, power and expert finishing to score the winner against the USA last night, and his stock will continue to rise as he gets another chance to show his stuff in the quarter finals. It would be no surprise to see him make a move to a bigger club after the tournament is over.
As well as that he becomes the first African to score four goals in a tournament since Roger Milla in 1990.
Luis Suarez – The Ajax striker scored a remarkable 49 goals in all competitions for his club last season. He has three so far at this World Cup, including a late, great winner against South Korea yesterday. Again he’s one the scouts from all the big clubs in Europe will be looking at, trying to figure out if he’s the real deal or if, when you take him out of Holland, he becomes the bastard child of Kezman and Alfonso Alves.
Losers
Bob Bradley – It’s a bit harsh but the US coach got his team selection wrong yesterday. To be fair to him he recognised it very quickly, hauling off the hapless Richard Clark after just half an hour, but at that stage the USA were already 1-0 down, conceding yet another early goal to Kevin Prince Boateng.
They conceded after 4 minutes to England, 5 to Ghana, 13 to Slovenia and after just a few minutes of extra time last night. There’s a mental weakness there which doesn’t quite add up when you think about the character the Americans have shown to get back into games. Ultimately you have to look at the coach and the way his team are prepared.
Peter Drury – as spoken about above. His verbal pats on the head to the continent of Africa are stomach churning, patronising and frankly unacceptable. Somebody make him stop. Or somebody stop him. I’m good with either.
Sven-Göran Eriksson – he might be a very nice chap, happy to talk to journalists and so forth, but resigning from the Ivory Coast job, and taking with him a €3m payoff does little to change the perception that the Swede is football management’s greatest and most effective mercenary.
—
Agree or disagree with any of those? Got one or two of your own to add? Feel free to comment. We don’t bite.
David Villa
Another good night for Villa, with a lofted forty-yard goal and an assist for an easy on the eye Iniesta strike. The odds on the Barca new boy taking home the golden boot are, like a man with wax legs, shortening all the time.
Cristiano Ronaldo
Possibly a controversial choice – arguably no-one from the disappointing Brazil-Portugal game deserves positive recognition. But in a tournament where the likes of Kaka and Ribery have entirely failed to turn up, Ronaldo’s one-man attempt to offer Portugal an attacking threat were admirable. Like him or loathe him, a player of his talent is a welcome addition to…
The Second Round
Some mouthwatering draws. Argentina v Mexico, Germany v England, Spain v Portugal, Brazil v Chile. Tasty.
LOSERS
Marco Rodriguez
Ruined an enthralling contest by dismissing Chile’s Estrada for the most accidental and incidental of trips. Also to blame was…
Fernando Torres
He seemed to tumble rather easily and dramatically after the innocuous incident described above. Furthermore, in contrast to strike partner Villa, Torres continues to struggle to make an impact at this World Cup. Perhaps he’s still suffering the effects of an injury, perhaps he’s low on confidence, or perhaps he’s suffering the Sampson-esque effects of a drastic haircut. Either way, Del Bosque must be tempted to go with Villa upfront alone and introduce one of Silva or Fabregas to the midfield.
Switzerland
Needed to beat one of the poorest sides at the World Cup by a couple of goals to go through. Slumped instead to a 0-0. It seems they’re something of a one-trick pony – and that one trick is parking a rather large bus right across the goalmouth.
—
Some potentially divisive choices today. As ever, have your say below.
Anyone who sat through the mind-numbing, torpid mess that was Brazil v Portugal yesterday will today, no doubt, be checking legal precedent to see if they can get their money back.
That goes for the people that were in the stadium and those watching at home on television. Some kind of compensation should be given to people who paid their cable/satellite subscriptions to watch that unholy abortion of a football game.
I know, there are those who will say Portugal’s defensive solidity is impressive and to an extent that is true. They are a well organised, well drilled defensive outfit who concede very few goals. This gives them a good platform to go and win games. Except when they don’t do that and play out a draw, which is what they did yesterday against Brazil.
And I don’t really understand it. Barring some kind of hammering from Brazil, which they never looked like dispensing, content to allow Melo and Gilberto Silva to play 3 yard backward/sideways passes for much of the game, and an Ivory Coast pasting of North Korea, there was no danger of Portugal going out. So why didn’t they go for it? And how, after the game, did Carlos Quieroz have the cheek to say:
I think it was a great show, a football feast. It was a great game of football, the players played extremely well and they must be congratulated.
Yes, Portugal defended very well indeed. A lethargic and one-paced Brazil found it practically impossible to break them down. Yet Portugal have one of the world’s most potent and exciting attacking talents in the world in their team. What did we see of Cristiano Ronaldo? The best he had to offer was skewing long range free kicks wide then scowling at the ball as if it were impossible to get one on target (ask Mr Honda about that, Crissy).
A football feast? A FOOTBALL FEAST? He’s mad. There’s no other explanation for it. Maybe not losing to Brazil is something to be lauded but let’s be realistic.
If this football feast were laid out on a banquet table there’d have been a few slices of stale bread, some cuts of cheap ham which had gone hard at the sides having been left out in the sun too long, a bit of coleslaw with a crust on top and a fly covered lamb chop.
I love football feasts. They’re among my favourite kind of feasts but yesterday was not one. If we want to break it down and try and salvage something from it we can say Portugal deserve credit for their defensive display. Flipping that over we could just as easily criticise them for being so negative. They’re just Greece with a superstar forward instead of that floppy haired bloke who couldn’t even score at Celtic.
Finishing second in the group means they have a local derby against Spain in the knockout round. Given the craft and attacking power of their Iberian neighbours I imagine we’ll get the same kind of approach in that game.
My advice would be to stock up on snacks beforehand because if Portugal serve up another ‘feast’ like the one against Brazil we’re all going to go hungry.
Out here in Johannesburg, you come across fans from all nations. In the past couple of days we’ve met grumpy Argentinians, dancing Ghanaians, drunk Englishmen and boisterous Germans.
They all have their qualities. Ascribing them a single adjectival epithet doesn’t do them justice. There is variety, colour, and most of all, warmth. Sitting down to write this I’m conscious of not wanting to come across like R-Kelly, singing a song about how football can bring about World Peace. It can’t. Only Bono can do that. But there is a definite harmony among fans that is something to behold.
Thus far, one group of fans have impressed me enormously: the Mexicans. They’re here in droves. They sing, they dance, they challenge Argentines to impromptu kick-up competitions. They happily chat away to you in Spanish whilst you nod blankly and mutter “Si, si”. They dress in outlandish costumes and embrace national stereotypes by sporting sombreros, meaning they have to stand about two feet apart at all times. And their team play some cracking football. What’s not to like?
In about an hour I set off to Rustenburg to watch Ghana face the US. As predicted, all the South African fans have rallied behind the one remaining African side. Bafana Bafana and the Black Stars are, for as long as Ghana’s run continues, one. If they can overcome the USA today, the locals will embrace the opportunity to continue the party. My colours are pinned firmly to a Ghanian mast.
What can you say about Italy crashing out the World Cup, bottom of their group, and playing as poorly as any Italian side in living memory?
I was going to go down the terrible pun route. You know what I mean.
This Italian side is clearly pasta it
Cannavaro? More like Can’tavaro.
Who was playing up front? Iaquita?
It’s a shame the first choice keeper wasn’t playing because he’s ripe for a Buff-off type witticism too. And while posting something on Twitter yesterday my iPhone decided that Pepe should be auto-corrected to Pele. Italy wishes.
It was interesting to listen to Liam Brady on RTE after the game though. He pointed the finger of blame squarely at the coaches of Italy’s Serie A clubs. He claimed they err on the side of caution too often when it comes to blooding new players. Rather than take a risk with a youngster or two they keep playing older guys in the hope their experience will save the day.
And it’s true, look at Milan, the way they became a virtual retirement home for top class players. Sure, there was quality and experience, but they’ve now gone 6 years without a league title. Inter, who have dominated the league, have very few Italian players.
Brady also suggested the defensive style of the football plays a part. Perhaps this is why the coaches go for the veterans as young players are tactically inexperienced and will only learn by making mistakes.
Whatever the truth of it, it’s fair to say Italian football at international level is in the worst shape it’s been in for many years. There isn’t a huge panel of talent coming through either. It’ll be interesting to see if Italy’s World Cup failure brings about any kind of change in Serie A but it’s a bit like expecting a leopard to change its spots.
Still, if they want a pizza the action in 2014, something’s gotta give.
Keisuke Honda
Headline writers the World over rejoiced as Honda gave a Rolls-Royce of a performance to see Japan motor past Denmark. Honda produced the tournament’s first halfway-decent free-kick followed by a quite exquisite piece of skill to create the crucial third goal.
Robert Vittek
Two goals in arguably the best game of the tournament so far. A failed trial at Blackburn Rovers must feel a long way away now.
New Zealand
Alright, they went out – but they managed to finish the tournament unbeaten, and come above Italy in their group. All this without a sheep in sight. I’m as amazed as you are.
LOSERS
Italy Marcello Lippi held his hands up, but he had no need to shield his players from criticism: to a man, they were dreadful. The players lacked the quality, mobility, and seemingly desire to come through a fairly weak group. Much like France, a serious overhaul is required.
Thomas Sorenson
A woeful display from the Danish denizen of the goalmouth. No keeper can be happy to concede from two long-range strikes, whatever the quality of the hit, and Sorenson never seemed to recover his nerve.
An England game is usually an emotional rollercoaster – even moreso when you have tickets riding on it. I knew I’d see the winners of England’s group in the second round, and whilst I’m not the most fanatical England fan, when you come halfway round the world it’s good to see your own team.
All was going well: England needed to win by a greater margin than America to top the group. Jermain Defoe’s early goal had given England a slender lead, but America were missing an enormous top hat-full of chances against Algeria. England had several opportunities to extend the lead: Frank Lampard fired a great chance over, Defoe failed to make contact from six yards, and Wayne Rooney struck a post when played onside in front of goal. And yet, America still could not score. The full-time whistle blew, and we celebrated. England were through, and due to finish top. We’d see them in Rustenburg.
The big screen flickered, and suddenly the picture switched to a group of American players, diving on the floor in celebration. Landon Donovan had scored with a stoppage time equaliser. The dream, briefly, was over.
As consolation prizes go, heading to Soccer City to watch Germany vs Ghana is up there. There was a hell of an atmosphere, with fans celebrating and partying together:
I can’t understate how friendly everyone has been. The South Africans are incredibly welcoming, and there is a bond between football fans here of all nations. There is a mutual understanding between nations about how much saving and scheming it takes to get here, and all everybody wants is to join a great big football party.
The game was pretty entertaining for the first hour. Then Ghana seemed to get wind of Australia’s 2-0 lead over Serbia, and were content to play out the remaining minutes to qualify in second. Still, Soccer City is an extraordinary stadium, and it was fantastic to attend my first World Cup game.
That meant our tickets would be valid for USA vs Ghana – a chance to see the one remaining African nation in the knockout stages. I’m not one to complain, but there was a tinge of frustration at missing out on the chance to watch England.
Until about 2am this morning, that is. After hours of searching online and calling in favours from the great, the good, and the decidedly dodgy, we suddenly became aware that there were tickets available. From FIFA. I still have no idea why. I don’t care.
The next few days hold USA v Ghana and England v Germany. I’ve had worse weekends.
