Three and in – not just another football blog

Word filtering through the t’Interwebsphere is that Tottenham’s Niko Kranjcar’s notoriously chatty father, Zlatko Kranjcar has been engineering a swap deal with AS Roma’s Mirko Vucinic.

At least that is what ol’Zlato told Walter Sabatini…

Spurs manager Harry Redknapp has quite openly operated a culture of favourites at White Hart Lane, ever since his arrival. He’s a died in the wool East End boy who sticks with what he knows, sticks with who he knows. I don’t think Harry has ever felt he either knows or wants to know Niko. And I think that’s probably Tottenham’s loss.

But Mirko Vucinic is a €25M rated striker and even the most ardent Niko fan will acknowledge this sounds pretty good! But will it happen? Can Spurs be the first club in the history of football to make one of these insane media deals actually come true? Good question. In this instance, let’s hope so.

If the noises coming out of South America* are to be believed, we are on the eve of the retirement of one of football’s greats.

After a weekend in which we drooled over a wonder strike from Wayne Rooney, the footballing fraternity prepares to bid farewell to a man who scored goals of such audacious quality on a fairly regular basis.

Forwards are often divided in to two categories: great goalscorers, and scorers of great goals. Ronaldo was undoubtedly both.

Yes, in his latter years he piled on the pounds. There was more gelato than golazo. But fat is temporary; class is permanent.

Kevyn Doran on Vimeo has put together this rather exhaustive retrospective. Take a glance at a career littered with goals.

*not all of the noises, of course. As continents go, it’s fairly noisy. But some of the noises, particularly those on twitter. Which don’t really make any actual audible noise. But you know what I mean.

One could understand if ‘Big’ Big Sam was feeling a little down in the dumps earlier in the week.  Unceremoniously dismissed from Blackburn by, of all things, a foreign woman.

Reading this morning’s papers, however, he will have afforded himself a smile for the first time in a week or so.  No sooner is he out of work that another vacancy, far better suited to him, has appeared.  It’s unfortunate for Rafa Benitez, but Inter Milan and Sam Allardyce were made for each other.  Just ask the latter:

“I’m not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter or Real Madrid.  It wouldn’t be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time. Give me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s not where I’m suited to, it’s just where I’ve been for most of the time.”

Being sacked by Blackburn and then taking up the reigns at a European giant like Inter Milan is an unusual career.  But not an untrodden one.  Roy Hodgson left his post at Ewood Park in 1998 and shortly found himself in caretaker charge at the San Siro.

In reality, despite his boasts, Allardyce would never be considered for such an illustrious role.  His most promising lead on the job front at the moment is the currently occupied spot with West Ham, two points adrift at the bottom of the Premier League.

Allardyce’s sacking at Blackburn came about because he has a reductive style of football that is designed purely to bring safety and stability.  For some Premier League chairmen, that is enough.  But not for the ambitious Anuradha Desai.  He is never going to be able to bring the attractive, attacking football Blackburn’s new owners see as essential to climbing the domestic table and strutting out on to the continental map.  It is these same limitations that prevent Allardyce from being a candidate for jobs like the Inter one.

Allardyce would argue that his tactics are a consequence of necessity – that given the resources of a top club he’d be able to produce something easier on the eye.  But the fact is, he will not get that opportunity in England.  His sacking at Blackburn shows the glass ceiling that his head is constantly banging against: he is perceived as a manager for a relegation scrap, and little more.

He has long suggested that were his name ‘Sam Allardici’, perceptions would shift.  Perhaps so.  Whilst emulating Hodgson’s time at Inter Milan remains an unrealistic ambition, perhaps the man from Dudley should follow his lead in heading abroad.  Steve McClaren may be struggling at Wolfsburg as we speak, but he is proof of the augment to a reputation that leaving Britain can provide.

Even if Allardyce went to a more unfashionable league – Hodgson spent swathes of time in Scandinavia – winning a few trophies would add significantly to his credentials.  Only then will he be a realistic candidate for the jobs that ‘Allardici’ claims he deserves.

Do you love La Liga? Do you like to suckle Serie A?

Well, if those thoughts haven’t set you off dry heaving into a bin, Three and in are looking for a columnist for each of those leagues for the season ahead. At the moment all we can offer you is a platform for your as yet untapped genius – but once this dot com business starts kicking in again we can offer you billions of shares in the site which, on paper at least, could be worth tens of pounds.

We’re looking for a Spanish columnist and a seperate Italian columnist who will provide weekly updates, or more if they fancy it, on La Liga and Serie A. They should be opinionated, witty and ready to fit in with the overall style of Three and in. Intelligent football comment that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

If you fancy it, please submit a 300-400 word sample article via our contact form and we’ll be in touch once we’ve had a read.

Tell your amigos and amici.

Ciao.

Adios.

And thanks.

I can understand how it happens. Writing a ‘Transfer Clockwatch’ for 15 or so hours a day, seven days a week is bound to take its toll. You become hungry for anything resembling a story. The smallest nugget of information is mined to the greatest possible extent as you look to a pad out a credit-crunched transfer window.

Today, however, SkySports.com reached its nadir, when announcing that Mario Balotelli will not be be signing for Manchester City today.

Presumably they’ll be running this story tomorrow. And the day after. And every day until Balotelli eventually signs for City, joining the Premier League’s grumpiest pack of strikers.

I don’t know if they gave it the full yellow ticker treatment on their TV channel. Considering they did just that for the news that Francis Jeffers was due to train with Blackpool, there’s every chance they did.

What can you say about Italy crashing out the World Cup, bottom of their group, and playing as poorly as any Italian side in living memory?

I was going to go down the terrible pun route. You know what I mean.

This Italian side is clearly pasta it

Cannavaro? More like Can’tavaro.

Who was playing up front? Iaquita?

It’s a shame the first choice keeper wasn’t playing because he’s ripe for a Buff-off type witticism too. And while posting something on Twitter yesterday my iPhone decided that Pepe should be auto-corrected to Pele. Italy wishes.

It was interesting to listen to Liam Brady on RTE after the game though. He pointed the finger of blame squarely at the coaches of Italy’s Serie A clubs. He claimed they err on the side of caution too often when it comes to blooding new players. Rather than take a risk with a youngster or two they keep playing older guys in the hope their experience will save the day.

And it’s true, look at Milan, the way they became a virtual retirement home for top class players. Sure, there was quality and experience, but they’ve now gone 6 years without a league title. Inter, who have dominated the league, have very few Italian players.

Brady also suggested the defensive style of the football plays a part. Perhaps this is why the coaches go for the veterans as young players are tactically inexperienced and will only learn by making mistakes.

Whatever the truth of it, it’s fair to say Italian football at international level is in the worst shape it’s been in for many years. There isn’t a huge panel of talent coming through either. It’ll be interesting to see if Italy’s World Cup failure brings about any kind of change in Serie A but it’s a bit like expecting a leopard to change its spots.

Still, if they want a pizza the action in 2014, something’s gotta give.

Eees not rat, ees hamster

Inter, Champions League title holders and all round very good footballers have announced this evening the recruitment of one of Europe’s leading catering capos.

Massimilliano Mondeo told Marca.org, ‘Our front of house situation was naturally moribund in essence since the exit of Jose and  we very concerned in the finding a satisfactory implementation.’

‘Now the search is conclusive in ‘Chubella’ (Rafa Beantins). Rafa is established as one of the the very best waiters in the business.’

‘We display in our player tunnel  a sign saying ‘Now Wash Your Hands’. Liverpool have a sign saying, ‘This Is A Field’. Philosophies are separated by these great restaurants.’

What is certain, is that Beantins will have his work cut out at Inter. As the Spaniard knows well, waiting standards on the Continent are much higher than they are in England.

In order to fill the European-football shaped gaps all over Threeandin with something resembling knowledge, I occasionally find myself thumbing through the European sports papers.  The other day, in an article in Spanish Daily AS about Real Madrid’s desire to snatch Jose Mourinho from Inter Milan, I was struck by one of the most nefarious-looking fellas I have ever seen.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Massimo Moratti.

Truly this man is the Krang to Mourinho’s Shredder.  I don’t mean to be cruel: I’m not taking the mickey out of this man.  I wouldn’t.  He has Satan in his eyes.

I’ve long suspect Mourinho’s success was due to a pact with some evil force.  Consider this proof.

I suspect you’ve heard, but there’s a credit crunch on.  As the transfer window swings open, managers all over Europe will make like David Dickinson and indulge in some serious bargain hunting – and they don’t come better than a Bosman.  This summer there are several big names available on a free.  In fact, there’s a whole teams-worth.

Having waived his right to a new deal in order to secure first-team football and a World Cup slot, David James is certain to be one of the first out of the door when the formalities of Portsmouth’s season are completed.  Although he will be 40 by the time next season starts, he’ll still be a viable option for the majority of Premier League sides.

It’s not often that a man who has scored the winning goal in a Champions League Final comes up for grabs, but that’s exactly what Juliano Belletti is.  He’d be my pick for right-back, though at Chelsea he’s shown that he is equally adept as a holding midfield player.  At left-back, Atletico Madrid’s Mariano Pernia has had enough injury problems to make him a significant gamble, but if he can regain some semblance of fitness his rocket-powered left boot would be an asset to any team.

At centre-back, an experienced partnership of Fabio Cannavaro and William Gallas would set you back plenty in wages but nothing in fees.  Cannavaro’s form for Juventus has been poor this season, but his impending retirement from International football might help him cope better with the domestic game.  A switch to Serie A rivals Fiorentina has been mooted.  William Gallas could soon join him in Italy, with a move to Roma on the cards after continuously stalling on signing a new deal at Arsenal.

If you need a couple of wide midfielders, there are two left-footed Premier League menaces for hire.  Martin Petrov has been edged out of the City team by Adam Johnson’s arrival but is still one of English football’s best pure wingers.  Morten Gamst Pedersen, meanwhile, was linked with the likes of Manchester United and Liverpool little more than two years ago.  His diving has made him something of a laughing stock since then, but if he can recapture his former purple patch he’d be a bargain worth snaffling.

In the middle, you can get a two-for-one deal at Stamford Bridge – the deep-lying Michael Ballack sitting just behind Joe Cole.  At 33, Ballack is not the marauding midfield Kaiser he once was, but the more leisurely pace of Serie A might enable him to prolong his career by a year or two.  Failing that, he’d be welcomed back to Germany with open arms – and Bayer Leverkusen are rumoured to be interested.

Joe Cole, meanwhile, seems to be one of the first Chelsea players to suffer the consequences of Roman Abrahmovich’s decision to tighten the strings on his silk purse.  One can understand the hesitancy to pay a player who has started only 14 league games this season £120,000 p/week, but Cole won’t be short of suitors if he decides to look elsewhere.  The most likely destination appears Spurs, where he’d be reunited with former mentor and compulsive wheeler-dealer Harry Redknapp.

Upfront there are a couple of aerial powerhouses to get on the end of Petrov and Pedersen’s crosses.  Marouane Chamakh seems all but certain to turn down Spurs and Liverpool to sign for Arsene Wenger’s Arsenal.  And with 18 Bundesliga goals and a guaranteed period of rest this summer, Brazilian-born Kevin Kuranyi represents an alluring opportunity to any manager looking to bolster his front-line.

Although the window is not yet open, these players have all been able to discuss moves from January 1st, and may have already agreed pre-contracts.  How many of them are really still up for grabs remains to be seen…