Three and in – not just another football blog

There are two sides to every story, as they say. FC Barcelona is a great example of this.

Story 1 - a team of wonderfully gifted, athletic, highly skilled, incredibly hard working and well drilled players, augmented by the incredible Lionel Messi who lifts their football from the sublime to the ridiculously sublime. You can’t help but admire the way they try and play, attacking, more attacking, close passing, a high intensity pressing game and just a fantastic ability to unlock teams in the final third.

It’s a beautiful thing. Or it just be a beautiful thing, because now we have:

Story 2 – a team of inveterate cheats, conmen, divers, and actors who seek to gain advantage in the most unsporting way possible at all times. In Mascherano, Busquets and Dani Alves they have a trident of footballing flimflammers who showcase the very worst in the modern game. The slightest contact, or even none at all, and they go down, wailing, shrieking, crying, acting, trying to get their opponent booked or sent off.

You might call it clever play. It’s not. It’s shameful cheating, nothing less. And they’re not alone. I accept that Barcelona’s style of play invites challenges, they nick the ball away at the last second, but Xavi and Iniesta like a jump in the air. Pedro too. Puyol ‘uses his experience’. Or, to put it another way, he cheats. They all do it to some degree and they’re put to shame by Lionel Messi who must get kicked and fouled more than any footballer on the planet and most of the time tries to stay on his feet.

He’s not whiter than white, no professional player is, but often Messi gains an advantage by staying on his feet instead of going down clutching his face/knee/ankle as if he’d been pole-axed.

For me, this Barcelona team’s legacy is tainted by the cheating. You can play great football without diving, without pretending to be kicked when you weren’t, and the thing about it is that no matter how often we see replays of them engaging in this behaviour it doesn’t change.

So they don’t care that they cheat and that’s an insult to anyone, Barcelona fan or neutral, who loves what they do when they actually play football.

Pea-shooter a deadly weapon
18 goals from 37 appearances would be more than good enough for Javier Hernandez in his first season in English football. When you factor in that of those 37 games, only 20 have been starts, his record become even more impressive. The fact that the Premier League’s top scorer, Dimitar Berbatov, has fallen behind Hernandez in the pecking order speaks volumes for the Mexican’s potential.

It could get worse for Torres…
…in the short-term. Ultimately, it will get better. Form is temporary, but class is permanent, and there’s no doubting the Spaniard has that in bags. Last night, however, he seemed to crumble under the weight of expectation. Not only was Chelsea’s entire season in the balance, but the fact he hasn’t yet scored in blue is clearly strung about his neck like an obese albatross, and judging by his impact as a sub Didier Drogba would almost certainly have been a better bet. Not even facing his favoured opponent Nemanja Vidic could revive the Spaniard. I suspect we may not see the best of Torres until United have the title in the bag too and the pressure is well and truly off. Only then he can he concentrate fully on integrating in to the side.

It’s too soon to sack Ancelotti
If you believe some of the rumours on Fleet Street, not even a victory last night could save Carlo Ancelotti’s job. I have to say, I find the idea of sacking a manager who won the double in his first season after a solitary trophyless campaign ridiculous. Ancelotti has experience of reigniting ageing sides at Milan. There have been signs in recent weeks that he’s capable of doing just the same at Chelsea.

This “average” United side could win a treble
I have to admit I’ve been waiting all season long for this United side to come a-cropper. Now they’re odds-on to win the Premier League, and in the semi-finals of both the FA Cup and Champions League. It’s a huge testament to a winning mentality instilled in the culture of the club by the manager. If he is able to claim all three prizes once more, 12 years after the Nou Camp, would Alex Ferguson finally decide to go out on a high?

One has to be careful when the saying the title of this post out loud lest somebody assume you were talking about Butch’s urine.

Anyway, it’s half-time in Madrid and Spurs are 1-0 down. Co-commentating with Alan Parry, Ray Wilkins has referred to Spurs constantly as ‘we’. Yes, Ray Wilkins who played for Chelsea, Man United, Milan, Rangers and QPR. The Ray Wilkins who made a grand total of no appearances for them. The Ray Wilkins who was assistant manager of Chelsea. Who are supposed to hate Tottenham.

It was ‘we’ this. ‘We’ that. Yet then, as everyone was asking ‘Why the fuck is Ray Wilkins referring to Spurs as we?’ he told us.

“I say ‘we’ as an Englishman”.

Ahh, that’s ok. So when Ray Wilkins refers to ‘we’ he’s talking about the good English team. The one with all those Englishmen in the starting line-up.

All three of them. Ignore the Brazilians, French, Croatians, Welsh etc. Nice to see Sky replace a lecherous misogynist with a jingoistic nationalist.

Talk about equal opportunities.

The away goal is one of football’s most precious commodities. I remember when United were trailing 3-0 to Real Madrid in 2003. When Ruud van Nistelrooy netted a last minute strike to reduce the deficit, Clive Tylesdley’s joyous shouts of “AWAY GOAL!!!” made you think the Dutchman had converted a clincher rather than a consolation.

As it happened, United went on to get hammered in the second leg too. But Tyldesley was probably still running around the room after Van Nistelrooy’s effort: Away goals have taken on disproportionate significance in European football.

Last night, in a rematch of 2010′s final, Bayern Munich celebrated a 1-0 win at the San Siro thanks to a late late goal from Mario Gomez. After the game, manager Louis van Gaal was bullish about his team’s result. And, of course, that extra bonus: the “away goal”:

“It was a very good game, very attractive and everyone can be happy with the game, it was fun. It must have pleased everyone who watched it. Of course we have a better chance of progressing now because we scored an away goal.”

Whilst Gomez has most certainly scored a goal, and one away from home at that, it comes without the mythical properties that make the ‘away goal’ so valued: it cannot decide the tie. Their is no possible result in the second leg that can allow the ‘awayness’ of Gomez’s goal to prove decisive. It is, sad to say, merely a ‘goal’. Sorry Louis.

-

Thanks to @Marcotti for bringing to light this strangest of reactions

Arsenal fans today reacted with fury at the club’s elimination from the Champions League at the hands of Barcelona. Arsene Wenger’s men were roundly beaten just seconds after the draw was made.

“It’s a disgrace”, said Top Gooner from 7, The Internet. “I’ve seen some spineless displays in my time but this was the worst I’ve ever seen. Where was the fight, the spirit?”

His sentiments were echoed by AFC4Lifewhenwewin from Twittersville Avenue. “You could tell from the first minute it was going to be one of those nights. Once again Arsenal were spineless. Wenger out!”

“I agree”, said Bob Misery of the well-respected Doomblog website. “It’s as if Arsenal simply didn’t turn up. How can we have any faith in this team if we’ve been beaten so easily, so quickly? It’s clear that only the arrival of Hiddink or Rijkaard, backed up by the signings of Mertesacker, Jagielka, Shay Given and Joe Hart, as well as Kaka, a young Roberto Carlos, Ibrahim Affelay and Eden Hazard can save us now. Otherwise we’re going to playing in the SPL next season”.

The Gunners now face two meaningless games against Barcelona in February and March 2011 in which Lionel Messi will tear the Arsenal defence a ‘new one’. This is particularly harsh as Messi already tore Arsenal a new one back in April which still hasn’t healed properly.

They wouldn’t like to admit it, but Spurs and Arsenal are actually pretty similar.  Like bickering brothers, their differences are exaggerated by their general familiarity.  They share geographical proximity, a similarly diverse fanbase, and a reputation for attractive football.

In the past week, that final quality has been discussed throughout the press.  After winning their group in a goal-happy fashion, Spurs have taken plenty of plaudits, with many pundits suggesting they looked the best equipped team to make a stab at taking home the cup with the big ears.

Arsenal, meanwhile, have come under fire in both Europe and at home for being their poor defensive record.  Whatever their attacking artistry, doubts remain about their ability to consolidate and hold out for crucial victories.

The Observer’s Paul Hayward captures the zeitgeisty dichotomy best here:

“London’s Seven Sisters Road connects two versions of one romantic urge. Tottenham Hotspur love to attack and refuse to defend beyond the minimum. Arsenal also exist to advance, but would like to defend if they could only work out how.”

So Spurs are all cavalier fun and games, whilst Arsenal’s attacking game is born out of an inability to do anything else.  What an interesting way for opinion to form.  A look at their respective records in the Champions League stages is fascinating.  Both sides have scored 18 goals, a mightily impressive tally, but Arsenal have actually conceded four goals fewer – and that doesn’t account for Tottenham’s brief collapse against Young Boys in the qualifiers.  Despite finishing second in their group, they’ve also won more games than their lilywhite counterparts.

Yet when Harry Redknapp says:

“We score goals, we let goals in. We score more goals, and we let more in.”

He is applauded for services to quality entertainment.  When Arsene Wenger, however, says of his decision to allow defensive midfielder Alex Song to roam forward:

“I am comfortable with that sometimes it leaves us open in the middle of the park. We want to play in the other half of the pitch and, therefore, we have to push our opponents back.  But my philosophy is not to be in trouble, but to fool the opponent into trouble.”

He is derided as tactically naieve.

It’s not just among the press.  Fans of each club seem to feel the same about their respective managers.  There are as many Arsenal fans who curse Wenger’s reluctance to focus more on the defensive side of the game as there are Spurs fans who embrace Redknapp’s enthrallingly refreshing attitude.

The strengths and weaknesses of the two teams are clearly very comparable.  What separates them, then, is expectation.

Due to their recent history of winning trophies, there is far greater pressure on Arsenal to deliver.  The glass of the beholder, therefore, is inevitably half-full.  They see a team whose emphasis on attacking play costs them success.

Harry Redknapp, meanwhile, manages without the same burden.  He is a master of reducing pressure, constantly re-emphasising the lowly state Spurs were in when he first took over.

They’re the same, but different.  But if the tables were ever to turn, and Harry was to find himself with the albatross of expectation swinging about his jowelly neck, he might soon find that attitudes towards his team’s style of play would swiftly change.  Just ask Arsene.

Gareth Bale tore Inter Milan apart again last night, and this time Spurs hadn’t undermined him by conceding four first-half goals.  His performance has sparked headlines across the continent, with La Gazzetta dello Sporto proclaiming that he had “destroyed” Inter’s renowned Brazilian right-back, Maicon.

Bale has always had ability.  His technical proficiency has been clear ever since he started knocking free-kicks in to the top corner as a 17-year old at Southampton.  His early performances for Spurs, however, are most memorable for that alarming record of making appearances in 24 league games for Spurs before experiencing victory.  After breaking that duck against Burnley last September, Bale has gone from strength to strength.

The main difference between the teenager who arrived at Spurs and the player we see now is, confidence aside, a physical one.  Bale has added penetrative sprinting, upper-body strength, and, crucially, stamina to his game.  It’s telling that his hatrick in the San Siro came late on in the game, at a point when players from both teams were flagging.  Just look at what he was able to produce in the 89th minute last night:

This is by no means to belittle Bale’s achievements.  I’m not suggesting all he does is run harder, faster, and longer than his opponents.  But were that the case, shouldn’t we celebrate it?  Football is an athletic sport, and Bale’s athleticism is a key a part of his game.  You can have all the skill in the world, but craft without graft is worthless.

The message is clearly not lost on Arsene Wenger, who this week credited improving stamina for  Alex Song’s impressive goalscoring ratio.  You could also name Frank Lampard, whose consistent box-to-box style is built as much on fitness as finesse.  We’re quick to laud footballers for outrageous moments of skill, but often forget the hard work put it on the training ground to give them the platform, the space, the sheer lung capacity to pull them off.

Bale is surging towards acknowledgment in this season’s Player of the Year awards.  With his conditioning, other stars will struggle to keep up.

Welcome to this week’s round of La Liga action from Week 2 and a look ahead to Week 3.  The headline story from last weekend is, of course, Barcelona’s 2-0 home defeat to league newcomers, Hércules, on Saturday night.  And to a lesser extent, the huge slice of humble pie I must now consume for being so quick to write the Alicante side off in last week’s blog.

In short, Hércules turned up at Camp Nou with a clear game plan and, through outstanding teamwork and unity, achieved a thoroughly deserved win.  There were no excuses for Barça, as was accepted by Pep Guardiola, who refused to blame Spain’s fixture in Buenos Aires the previous Tuesday, and simply admitted his side were unable to solve the problems Hércules caused them and that on the day “they were simply better”.  Paraguayan striker Nelson Valdez was the Catalan team’s nemesis, finding the net either side of half time, firstly with a clumsily struck volley which deceived his (almost) namesake Victor in the Barça goal, following some sloppy defending.  There were no debates regarding the intention, nor the quality, of the second goal however, when Valdez took advantage of the wealth of time and space Barça’s back 4 afforded him, to curl a delightful finish high into the net.  Following my admittedly rather patronising initial opinions on Hércules last week, I will now duly upgrade them to the ‘ones to watch’ category.  Granted, this is hardly going out on a limb, having just seen them pull off a sensational result that no-one else has managed in the league in 16 months, but the La Liga niños, led by Valdez, David Trezeguet (yep, that’s where he is now) and on-loan Royston Drenthe, will definitely cause problems for other teams this year, who have now been duly warned.  Either that or they’ll be complete toss for the rest of the season and make me look like an even bigger idiot than they did last week.  Time will tell, on both counts.

A few hours later, another historic win catapulted Real Madrid above the slain Catalans, Mourinho recording his first league victory in charge since moving from Inter in the summer, beating Osasuna 1-0 at the Bernabéu.  However, as anyone who witnessed the match will attest, it was by and large a dull, dreary affair and Real were far from prolific going forward.  It was left to Mourinho’s fellow Portuguese henchman Ricardo Carvalho to seal the points just after half-time, after a great run from Mesut Ozil teed up Ronaldo, whose shot Ricardo could only parry back to him.  Ronaldo decided to pass rather than shoot – seemingly for the only time on the night – leaving the unlikely hero, Carvalho with the simple task of side-footing into an empty net.

Real’s city rivals Atlético continued their strong start to the season, beating Athletic Bilbao 2-1 to go top of the table, in a niggly encounter in the Basque Country that produced 9 yellow cards, presumably as tempers flared over what the correct Spanish way of spelling ‘Athletic’ should be.  In amongst the acrimony, Forlan and Tiago scored for Atlético before Llorente grabbed a late consolation for the hosts (suspiciously, Forlan again celebrated with his shirt on – maybe he’s grown a third nipple over the summer).

Elsewhere, Valencia beat Racing 1-0 to propel themselves to second and Racing to second bottom in the table, Racing spared last place due to Levante’s 4-1 defeat at the hands of Getafe.  Ex-pat favourites Malaga beat Zaragoza 5-3 away from home, suggesting neither team will do much this season, with that sort of defending.  Conversely, what promised to be an interesting encounter between Sevilla and Depor ended anticlimactically in a goalless draw.

Former Manchester United Italiano Americano, Rossi scored twice for Villareal in their 4-0 defeat of Espanyol, proving himself to be anything but a sloppy Giuseppe (sorry…), with Espanyol having Chica sent off late on, for good measure.  Completing the round-up, Almeria drew 2-2 at home with Real Sociedad whilst Mallorca’s 2,000km round trip to Gijon saw them head back to the island with only air miles to show for it, suffering a 2-0 defeat to Sporting.  

In Week 1 of the Champion’s League, Barça demonstrated their bouncebackability on Tuesday when they began their bid to win their 4^th European Cup by destroying Panathinaikos 5-1 at home, in what was almost the performance of the week (come on, Arsenal were sublime).  With the home crowd fearing a repeat of events 3 days prior, when the Greeks opened the scoring, Lionel Messi decided he wasn’t going to miss out on 2 concurrent win bonuses and turned on the form once again.  Seemingly behind everything Barca did all night, the Argentine scored 2 and created the 5^th for Dani Alves with an exquisite spooned pass.  Despite this, he was still unable to avoid being labelled ‘rubbish’ in an amusingly honest, if not particularly insightful, piece of commentary from Sky Sports, after missing a penalty to complete what would have been his hat trick.  To be fair, it was a rubbish penalty.

Valencia also began their Champions League campaign with a 4 goal win, beating a poor Bursaspor side 4-0 in Turkey.  2 goals from Higuain was enough for Real to open with a 2-0 win at home to Ajax on Wednesday, though Ajax looked a shadow of their former selves.

In the Europa League, Atlético’s run of form seemed to desert them as they began their defence of the trophy with a 1-0 loss away to Greek side Aris Salonika, former Barcelona youth player Javito with the decisive strike to seal the shock result of round 1.  Villareal also lost, 2-0 away to Dinamo Zagreb, in a miserable night that saw captain Marcos Senna sent off for 2 bookings.  Sevilla lost 1-0 at home to Paris Saint-Germain, leaving it to Getafe to salvage some national pride on the night, producing a brilliant comeback to beat Danish side Odense 2-1, having trailed by a goal at half time.  Javier Arizmendi cancelled out his first half own goal soon after the break, before Pedro Rios scored a late free-kick to seal the victory.

So, looking ahead to this weekend’s action the fixtures are:

Espanyol v Almeria (Saturday, 5pm)
Mallorca v Osasuna (Saturday, 5pm)
Sporting Gijon v Athletic Bilbao (Saturday, 7pm)
Real Sociedad v Real Madrid (Saturday, 9pm)
Hercules v Valencia (Sunday, 4pm)
Levante v Villarreal (Sunday, 4pm)
Racing Santander v Real Zaragoza (Sunday, 4pm)
Atlético Madrid v Barcelona (Sunday, 6pm)
Malaga v Sevilla (Sunday, 8pm) 

The matches available on Sky are highlighted in bold.  Although, annoyingly, despite having no fewer than four dedicated sports channels to choose from, Sky appear to only be showing the 2^nd half of Atlético v Barça, preferring to subject us all to Andy Gray’s ‘last word’ on the weekend’s premiership action until 7pm instead.  I for one find it hugely insulting that Sky’s schedulers assume I’d rather watch Andy twat about with that touch-screen gadget that he still doesn’t seem to have familiarised himself with, rather than watch one of the biggest matches of the weekend happening anywhere in the World.  Even worse, the other Sky Sports channels available are showing yank football, a repeat of the 2005 Ashes and International Showjumping.  Showjumping for f*ck sake?!  Still, with any luck the first half might be available via the red button, as it should be a cracker of a game and the first real test of Atlético’s credentials if they aim to compete with the big two this season.

I’ll be back next week to review and preview.  Meantime, enjoy the weekend and what you can of the action from Spain.

Nobody likes to see a player seriously injured.  It’s impossible not to feel sympathy for a guy doomed to a prolonged spell on the sidelines.  Seeing Antonio Valencia writhing in agony on Tuesday night, Man United fans will have been doubly distressed: partly for Valencia, but also for what it could mean for their season.

In my opinion, it’s a considerable blow.  Valencia arrived a year ago for a quarter of Cristiano Ronaldo’s price and with an even smaller fraction of his reputation, but steadily improved to become a key figure in the United team.  When Wayne Rooney was scoring a spate of heading goals last season, the majority of them came from Valencia’s pinpoint crosses.

This season, United’s ageing midfield has already been outrun in the latter stages of games against both Fulham and Everton.  Valencia offered an alternative: dynamism, stamina, and pace.  With the exception of Nani, whose final delivery is far more erratic, they lack wingers of comparable quality.  You simply can’t expect the same consistency from relative novices like Gabriel Obertan and Bebe.

The latest signs suggest that Valencia could be playing again before the end of the season.  For United, however, it could be too late.

What do you reckon?

Harry speaking about the artificial pitch before Spurs 3-2 defeat to Young Boys:

I think it will suit us, the way we pass the ball. We’ve got players with great technique like Luka Modric. We won’t be making an excuse out of it.

Harry speaking about the artificial pitch after Spurs 3-2 defeat to Young Boys:

You have to get used to playing on it. If you play on it every week you get used to it. I don’t agree with Astroturf and I don’t think Astroturf should be used in a competition like this. I left four out because they weren’t comfortable on the pitch in training yesterday.

Sounds a bit excusey to me and UEFA have rightly dismissed his complaints. What his grumblings do, of course, is distract from Tottenham’s limp performance. Yes, they did well to drag themselves back into it but the tie could have been over and done with had the Swiss taken their chances. It had nothing to do with the pitch, it was because Spurs played so poorly in a game they should have been right up for. It’s all a bit convenient for Redknapp to blame to pitch when the finger should be pointed squarely and his players and him.

And even if we do talk about the pitch it’s a non-issue. Modern astro pitches are fantastic. It’s not like the old days of sand based surfaces that would tear the skin from your elbows and knees at the slightest contact. They cost hundreds of thousands of pounds and are meticulously maintained. Sure, they do lack something that grass pitches do, such as bumps, divots, hills, slopes, bare patches, holes, missing turf and waterlogged sections. It’s tough to cope with all right.

The pitch last night was better than the one at Wembley, for example, and it’s not as if all Premier League surfaces are the same. The ball will roll and bounce differently at the Emirates than it does at Old Trafford which is different to White Hart Lane which is different to Stamford Bridge and so on.

Spurs are still in the Champions League, and I expect them to qualify from the second leg, but Harry needs to work a little harder on his excuse making. Or, better yet, the training ground.