Three and in – not just another football blog

Today Tony Pulis entered his press conference, unfurled a prepared statement in Benitez-esque fashion, and responded to Danny Murphy’s recent comments about his side’s overt physicality.

Pulis has a history of releasing statements when his club come under fire.  His club are remarkably touchy about criticism.  It’s almost as if the comments are all too often, like the impact of some of Stoke’s tackling, unnervingly close to the bone.

Pulis began his statement by accusing Murphy of discriminating against smaller clubs:

“One challenge on Newcastle’s Hatem Ben Arfa by Nigel de Jong of Manchester City recently led to a broken bone.

Another by Joe Cole, one of our most technically gifted players, resulted in a sending off for one of our most celebrated clubs in the country, Liverpool, who are currently managed by Roy Hodgson, someone I have great respect for.

How ironic it is that Danny Murphy chose not to discuss either challenge or manager in respect of those tackles. How selective can someone be?”

Leaving aside Pulis’ understanding (or lack thereof) of irony, he’s plain wrong on this count.  Like the victim of a Ryan Shawcross tackle, he’s barely got a leg to stand on.  Whilst Cole and De Jong have both made awful challenges, Murphy’s point was that some sides are repeatedly and systematically violent.  Neither Liverpool nor City fall in to that bracket.

Pulis moved on to question Murphy’s motives:

“Maybe Murphy’s pursuit of a new career in the media does not allow him to criticise, or fall out with the Premier League big boys. Instead, in my opinion, he has selected easy targets that are based on his own perception and not facts.”

Ah, perception.  The enemy of football.

The hilarity of accusing Murphy of seeking media-attention, whilst at the same time protecting a kabal of managers led by Sam “I could manage Real Madrid” Allardyce, needs little comment.  You could even call it ‘ironic’.  But that would only confuse Pulis.

Chelsea have stooped low to scoop up 11-year old Northampton striker Michael Gyasi for an undisclosed fee.

Chelsea’s interest was attracted by an outstanding end of term report, in which Gyasi was commended for his punctuality, good behaviour, and improving handwriting.  Apparently they decided to formalise their move for him after he snaffled seventy-three goals in one particularly productive lunchtime kickabout.

Gyasi has been earmarked as a future form captain, and has had some pundits clamouring to hail him as ‘the next Sonny Pike‘.

Cobblers centre of excellence boss Trevor Gould said:

“Michael has progressed well and has improved with our coaching.”

Which is as it ought to be, really.  Any coaching which made him worse would have to be questioned.

Good luck Michael, and watch out Didier: there’s a new kid on the block.

…which, for a man who has spent much of his life having his 6 ft 7 ” frame gawped at, both on account of his fame and his physical oddity, must feel somewhat bizarre.

Yesterday, when Darren Bent pulled out of the England squad, a nation’s media mourned.  Some claim the presenter on duty at Sky Sports News at the time shed a solitary tear.  Radio stations could be heard stating confidently that this meant a guaranteed start for first-time call-up Kevin Davies.  Even Carlton Cole waded in to the debate, via his twitter feed.

The whole thing is absurd.  Carlton Cole, on current form, is about as good at football as he is eloquent*.  Kevin Davies is a journeyman clogger who represents no improvement whatsoever on the maligned Emile Heskey.  Darren Bent, meanwhile, is about as reliable at international level as Concorde.

And all the while, Crouch has been available: a man with an England goalscoring ratio better than a goal every other game.  His form for Spurs is good, and he’s a dependable foil for Wayne Rooney.  Carlton Cole can rest assured he’ll be able to tweet all through tonight’s game: in the absence of Defoe, there oughtn’t be any debate about who should start alongside Rooney.

If, that is, Capello persist with a 4-4-2.  Switching to 4-3-3 would allow Rooney to plough the central furrow alone, supported by two from Adam Johnson, Ashley Young and James Milner.

As it is, we’re likely to see Rooney and Crouch, with a midfield four of Johnson, Milner, Barry and Gerrard.  Joe Hart will play in goal, whilst Rio Ferdinand will be the senior member of a back four including Joleon Lescott, Ashley Cole, and Glen Johnson.  Ferdinand will be glad not only to be playing but to have been spared the ignominy of losing the England armband as well as the United one.

Capello is more likely to start responding to interviews with nuanced colloquialisms than shift from his preferred formation.  That means he needs a target man, and for now Crouch remains the man to step up to the job.

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*if, as part of me suspects, Cole’s account turns out to be a fake, then I apologise for questioning his eloquence.  He is probably a master of rhetoric to rival Wilde, Fry, and Kamara.

First Bert Van Marwijk, now Danny Murphy. Men who’ve been prepared to speak about against a growing trend for aggressive, mindless tackling. The difference is that Marwijk makes his comments from the safety of the sidelines. Murphy is very much still in the firing line for the teams he has criticised.

He hasn’t pulled any punches, however:

“The thing I think people miss, is that it’s the managers who dictate what the players do and how they behave.

Look at Stoke, Blackburn and Wolves. You can look at the players and blame them. You can say they’re doing what they can to win the game but the fact is that the managers are sending the players out so pumped up that inevitably there are going to be problems. But every team has a captain and a manager who is in charge.”

The implication is clear. The finger of blame is pointed squarely at messrs Allardyce, Pulis, and McCarthy.  And Murphy, as a Fulham player, can talk about this from a position of authority: under Roy Hodgson, that team regularly topped the Fair Play League.  They’ve had big, physical players – Brede Hangeland, Dickson Etuhu, Bobby Zamora – but never felt the need to turn that to their advantage by breaking either the rules of the legs of opponents.  Having watched team-mate Zamora have his leg twisted under the challenge of Karl Henry, Murphy’s patience has reached the end of its tether.

The key thing here is that this isn’t Johnny Foreigner moaning about a good old-fashioned English challenge.  When Arsene Wenger says there is an issue with physicality in the game, his claims are dismissed as an attempt to protect his diminutive team.  This, however, is an elder statesman of the Premier League, a native no less, who has plied his trade at this level for more than a decade.  He’s seen the game develop from the heat of the battle, in the heart of midfield, and now he feels it’s time to act.  He’s not a recent import, shocked by the pace of the game.  He’s a weathered veteran, who played against the likes of David Batty and Roy Keane.  And yet it is now he feels tackling has got out of hand, and everyone within the game has a responsibility to do something about it.

Every time a manager defends a player who has committed a bad challenge, they exacerbate this problem.  Now that they’ve been essentially ‘outed’ by  Murphy, hopefully the media will pressure the implicated bosses to condemn their players when their tackling becomes dangerous.  If not, then Murphy might find himself a target for their ‘tackles’.

It was supposed to be a fresh start.  A shiny new era, lit up by the as-yet-untainted youth of Adam Johnson, Theo Walcott, and Jack Wilshere.  Fabio Capello promised an England squad shorn of deadweight and fuelled by the enthusiasm of a new generation, and the early signs were good.  In the absence of David James, Rio Ferdinand and Emile Heskey, the likes of Joe Hart, Phil Jagielka and Jermaine Defoe all made a positive impression.  Progress and evolution were in the offing.

So what, in God’s name, is Kevin Davies doing in the current England squad?

I’m not questioning his value as a player.  He has matured in to a dependable Premier League forward, a nuisance to any defence, and an aerial threat.  But in March, Davies will turn 34.  By the time Euro 2012, he’ll be 35 – the same age that Fabio Capello recently called “too old” in reference to David Beckham.  At a time when we’re supposed to be building for the future, is this kind of pragmatic short-termism what we need?  And if it is, what does ‘needing’ Davies say about the state of English football?

Perhaps more disturbing than Davies’ call-up is the fact that he wasn’t Capello’s first-choice.  Just a couple of months after his international retirement, Emile Heskey found himself on the receiving end of the customary pleading call from Franco Baldini, asking him to reverse his decision.  Like Paul Scholes before him, Heskey declined, possibly feeling his improved form for Villa is due in part to taking the weight of international football off his broad shoulders.  But the fact that Heskey was called back in to action, after just one significant injury to Defoe, is mighty worrying.

Davies’ presence is made all the more surprising by the availability of a younger, similar alternative in Newcastle’s Andy Carroll.  Come 2014, he’s surely far more likely to make the squad than the Bolton striker.

Capello’s squad selections are becoming increasingly irrational and unpredictable.  What has Joe Cole done in the last month to warrant a call up?  What has Gary Cahill done wrong to deserve being dropped?  And why are we spending time ‘developing’ a 33-year old striker who in all likelihood won’t be around to play tournament football in 18 months time?

Didier Drogba celebrated his backheeled goal against Arsenal by crossing himself and thanking a higher power.  For Drogba, it was unusually and unnecessarily modest.  Whilst he could never have predicted the ball would cannon in off the post in that fashion, his unconventional flick was the mark of a player instinctive, alert, and opportunistic – all signs of a striker at the very top of his game.

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Already this season, Wolves have picked up 21 cautions and two red cards.  Unsurprisingly, they’re now starting to worry that they might acquire something of a ‘reputation’.  Kevin Doyle has insisted that any notoriety is misplaced:

“If you were to look at it on paper you’d think we were a dirty team, but if you look back to last year we were one of the fairest sides in the league.”

Which as defences go is pretty weak.  The evidence of Wolves’ physicality is clear.  What did or didn’t happen last year is irrelevant.  If Wolves are, God willing, relegated this season, then they won’t be able to appeal to the Premier League on the grounds that they played much better the year before.  In football, the present is all that really matters.

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The chief perpetrator of Wolves’ overly-physical approach has been Karl Henry.  Perhaps he’ll be forced to reconsider the manner of his ‘tackling’ having been dismissed so early in their game against Wigan for his latest lunge.  With any luck, a referee will finally step up and apply the same disciplinary sanction to Nigel De Jong, who this weekend did what he had been threatening to do for some time and snapped the leg of Hatem Ben Arfa in two places.  The warning signs were there during the World Cup – De Jong serves little purpose other than to clatter his opponents.  His style of play shows a basic lack of respect for the safety of his fellow professionals, and it’s essential that referees respond accordingly.  If they continue to allow such challenges to go unpunished, then the FA or Premier League will be forced to introduce retrospective action.

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Mark Hughes looks healthier, happier, and settled in to his new job at Fulham.  He says it’s because he’s put on weight.  Maybe it’s actually because he’s finally found a club whose ambitions are compatible with his love of a level scoreline.  It was a run of seven successive draws that essentially ended his spell at Manchester City.  Six ties from his opening seven games as Fulham manager, however, have seen him heralded as captain of an unbeaten ship.  As a player, Hughes was something of a sharpshooter.  As a manager, it seems he’s still quick on the draw.

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So Liverpool have slumped to a new nadir.  One question: would a foreign manager be under more pressure from the media than struggling Woy?

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As ever, your thoughts, observations, and ramblings are welcome.

Petr Cech flings himself across goal to keep out a stinging Andrey Arshavin effort and give Chelsea the platform for their 2-0 victory.

Not just one for the cameras

During England’s thrashing by Germany at this summer’s World Cup, Germany were the better side in every department.  In one particular area, however, England offered no competition at all: that of playmaker.  The Germans had Mesut Ozil, one of the tournament’s stars, whilst the England midfield of Gerrard, Barry, Lampard & Co looked comparatively one-dimensional. They’re good players – great players, even – but they’re not playmakers.  Barry is a continuity player, Gerrard an impact player, and Lampard an intriguing cross-breed of the two.  But England’s midfield has no conductor, and occasionally, no flair.

In the aftermath of the tournament, great hopes were placed upon the low but sturdy shoulders of Jack Wilshere.  Despite the hype, I’m not sure anyone expected him to make as big an impact in the Arsenal side as he has.  He’s emerged as a first-choice player, playing a part in every game so far, and excelling in both the Premier League and Europe.  He’s been both consistent and creative, with some moments of sublime skill to boot, including this backheel to set up Andrey Arshavin’s goal in midweek:

Despite his seeming reluctance to use Wilshere during the last international break, it’s no surprise that Stuart Pearce has named him in his England U-21 squad for a crucial play-off against Romania.  However, if I were Fabio Capello, I would take Wilshere out of the U-21 squad.  Partly to avoid the risk of burnout, but mainly because he’s needed in the senior side.

The next England squad will be without the likes of Frank Lampard, James Milner, and Theo Walcott.  Midfielders with attacking impetus and drive are in short supply, and Wilshere is one of the nation’s most in-form players.  He might only be 18 years old, but he is more than ready to take his place on the international stage.

Capello may well be intending to pick him for the game against Montenegro, which comes a few days after the U-21 game.  But why make Wilshere play in both games?  The FA ought to have learnt the lesson of forcing Theo Walcott to compete at both levels – he followed up that ordeal with an injury-filled 09/10 season.

Capello needs Wilshere more than Pearce does, and ought to protect his brightest emerging talent.  When you’re playing regularly in the Champions League, the ‘experience’ of working under a middling manager with the U-21s is nothing more than an unnecessary distraction.

Paul Gascoigne, after a 39-day spell at Kettering that ended with acrimony and accusations of drinking on the job, is to make his return to football management.  His employers, Garforth Town, insist the appointment is not a publicity stunt.

Their claims would have more credence if the owner, Simon Clifford, wasn’t the same man who, back in 2004, signed two middle-aged Brazilians: chain-smoking playmaker-cum-philosopher Socrates, 50 at the time, and 44-year old former Napoli winger Careca.

The aptly-named Clifford argues:

“This is not a publicity stunt. When we signed Socrates and Careca, that was. Everyone says they love Paul but nobody does anything about it.”

What he fails to acknowledge is that anyone who does “love” Paul Gascoigne would never give him a job as a football manager.  The mental strain is, quite frankly, the last thing he needs.

Clifford’s denials are further undermined by Gazza’s own word.  The former England international and friend to rogue gunmen says:

“I will get the same publicity at Garforth as if I was at a Premier League club and I don’t want the players to get carried away with it.”

The players should be fine.  It’s the chairman I’d be most worried about.

Let me just say, with as must neutrality as it’s possible for any football fan to muster, that I’ve been decidedly unimpressed by Man City’s start to the season.  Their performances have been uninspiring, with results to match.  Setting aside the pedestrian irrelevance that is the Europa League, they’ve won just two of their opening five league games, and crashed out of the League Cup at West Brom.  They’ve lost at Sunderland and been held at home to Blackburn.  Their most impressive result was a 3-0 win against a Liverpool side who now sit just two places clear of the relegation zone.

Incredibly, two wins from five is enough to have City currently in the top four, which is as much an indictment of the form of sides like Everton, Villa, and indeed Liverpool as anything else.  They’re currently level on eight points with Spurs, and the pair look set to wage another war over that final Champions League spot.

Unless…

Tomorrow City host league leaders Chelsea, in the first of this season’s fixtures likely to cause them to break sweat.  If City are to make the jump from Champions League contenders to title challengers, they have to win tomorrow.  The time for excuses and ‘bedding in’ has settled.  Everyone knows Mancini’s team now.  It’s got Carlos Tevez on his own upfront and more defensive midfielders than you can shake a very negative stick at.  It’s got Joe Hart in goal and James Milner on the wing and Kolo Toure still clinging on to his spot, aided by the presence of his more-talented brother.  It has, however, got potential.  And now is the time to realise it.  Lose at lunchtime, and they’ll find themselves ten points behind the league leaders.  Already.

Chelsea, meanwhile, will be hoping to keep their remarkable momentum going as they enter a far trickier run of fixtures.  In their next three league games they travel to City and Villa and host Arsenal.  The Gunners, as well as Manchester United, will be looking to pounce on any slip by the Champions.  If Chelsea can pick up three points, however, and it’ll be almost as disheartening for the chasing pack as City.

Man City v Chelsea might just turn out to be one of the most pivotal games of the season.