• Featured
    Wayne Rooney gets away with it

    On Saturday Wayne Rooney elbowed James McCarthy in the side of the head. It was unprovoked and worthy of a red card. Despite video evidence Rooney has gotten away with it. Ref’s chief Mike Riley said: Mark took the correct course of action with this incident. In this incident Mark was following...

  • Champions League
    Bayern and the away goal that isn’t

    The away goal is one of football’s most precious commodities. I remember when United were trailing 3-0 to Real Madrid in 2003. When Ruud van Nistelrooy netted a last minute strike to reduce the deficit, Clive Tylesdley’s joyous shouts of “AWAY GOAL!!!” made you think the Dutchman had converted a clincher rather...

  • Featured
    Jack Wilshere to Barcelona nonsense

    It’s symptomatic of football at the moment that every good performance somehow opens a door to a potential transfer. At least in the eyes of the press. As we all know, regardless of who you support, every transfer window means your team will be linked with countless players. The bigger the team...

  • Featured
    10 things worse than El Hadji Diouf

    Just watching the Old Firm derby and, as expected, the Senegalese striker is getting plenty of stick from the Celtic fans. However, to be fair to Diouf, while certainly a thoroughly dislikable person and footballer, he isn’t the worst thing in the world. Here’s our list of 10 things worse than El...

  • Featured
    To stream the impossible stream

    Guest post by Indie Dave —— As I switched from stream to stream last Saturday, safe in the knowledge that I was only missing the 5th, 6th and 7th goal The Arsenal were definitely putting past the Barcodes, I found myself exasperated. Why the fuck, in this day in age do I...

  • Featured
    Farewell El Fenomeno

    If the noises coming out of South America* are to be believed, we are on the eve of the retirement of one of football’s greats. After a weekend in which we drooled over a wonder strike from Wayne Rooney, the footballing fraternity prepares to bid farewell to a man who scored goals...

  • Featured
    The Secret Diary of Richard Keys Aged 53 ¾

    First they came for Big Ron, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t Big Ron. Then they came for Rodney Marsh, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t Rodney Marsh. Then they came for Andy Gray, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t Andy Gray. Then they came for...

  • Featured
    Is Hughton any improvement on Di Matteo?

    Sky Sports, the BBC, and a whole bunch of people on Twitter have reached an understanding about who is to replace Roberto Di Matteo as West Brom manager. In Di Matteo, the Baggies sacked a manager who had been impressively promoted from last year’s Championship, only to fail to fill his club...

  • Featured
    Spurs to Stratford still on

    Despite missing out on the Olympic stadium to West Ham’s porn barons it has been revealed that Spurs’s move to Stratford is still on. Stratford-upon-Avon. According to manager Harry Redknapp this will ensure the traditions of the club will continue. “The Tottenham way can be compared to that of William Shakespeare who...

  • Featured
    Oh you cheeky little scamp!

    It’s late in the Wolves v Man United game. United are heading for their first defeat of the season and need a goal. A cross comes in, arriving late, it’s Paul Scholes, a glancing header … oooh … just wide. Except it wasn’t a glancing header at all. It was a deliberate...