Three and in – not just another football blog

In a sensational twist today the footballing world was rocked to it’s foundations.

One time Rangers fullback, now Tottenham Hotspur striker Alan Hutton, has today been revealed as the man at the center of an nationwide smuggling cartel of what sources are simply calling. ‘The White Stuff’.

Hutton is no stranger to controversy of course. The Scot hit the the headlines off the park not long after he joined Spurs when he went for a quiet all day drinky poo bender with some family and friends in London. This soiree climaxed with Hutton battering the living monkey out of his old man in broad daylight.

This time though the consequences are likely to be somewhat more significant than merely leaving his dad needing medical attention. Experts told us that the cost of valeting his passion wagon could run into tens of pounds. The Metropolitan Police declined to comment.

Barcelona beating Real Madrid 5-0 might well be uncommon but at the same time it wasn’t surprising. Anyone who has watched them – or indeed travelled to see them stuff your team in a Champions League quarter-final – will know that when they click they are simply unstoppable.

It’s safe to say last night was one of their clickiest ever and they deserved the win and the scoreline. And I know we know this already but they did it with eight players who have come through their youth system. Only Villa, Alves and Abidal are ‘outsiders’.

It’s a testament to the Barcelona set-up, they have produced a couple of generations of outstanding footballers, so it just makes you wonder what Real Madrid would be like if they had invested just some of the Galactico money on their own youth system. Only Iker Casillas is a Real youth team product.

Does it really have an influence? In games like these, when overall the qualities of the two teams are fairly close, little things can make the difference. Witness Pique holding up his hand to celebrate the 5th goal. There’s no question that winning this match means more to local players than to foreigners. You can be quite sure if Barcelona had lost the Catalans would feel a lot worse than Özil or Benzema or any of the Madrid players do. Leaving professional pride aside it doesn’t hurt the same way, regardless of how much you stress the importance of the fixture.

I looked at Barcelona last night and the thought that went through my head was that if Arsenal players hated the idea of losing to Spurs as much as Barcelona players enjoyed beating Madrid the capitulation from the other week would not have happened.

There wasn’t much in the way of home grown talent on the Madrid bench either and although last night’s performance would have taken apart any team in the world maybe Madrid need to look at a bit more long-term planning when it comes to their team. Maybe they need to take a step backwards to take two or three forwards. More players for whom losing to Barcelona is not just a bad day at the office but simply unthinkable.

On paper there’s not that much between them, on the pitch however they were worlds apart.

Every week Lawrence Gray-Hodson, a man who made his name in the upper reaches of Division 2 in the 1970s and 80s as well as being a former Scotland and England international, writes a column exclusively for Three and in.

This week it’s heavy defeats

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It was hard not to feel sorry for Blackburn Rovers fans after their crushing defeat the weekend. They’d made the lengthy trip to Old Trafford and had to trudge home in the cold having seen their team take the football equivalent of a night in Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool.

Even more sickening was the fact that Dimitar Berbatov scored five goals. Blackburn’s display made it look as if the Bulgarian were interested in playing football when we all know he’s just going through the motions, picking up his pay packet so he can enyoy the trappings of a chain-smoking eastern European gangster’s life. The only thing more humiliating I can think of would be to lose a spelling contest with Robbie Savage.

Now, I know well that crushing defeats are part and parcel of football. I had just begun my career when one Saturday we went out believing we’d have an easy win against Bournemouth. Instead we got spanked 8-0 and I scored an own goal. The fans that day were epileptic with rage and I couldn’t blame them. As a young player I felt responsible but one of the grizzled old pros told me not to worry too much, that these days happened from time to time and I should forget about it.

Fans sometimes fail to realise that footballers view the game differently than they do. For example, a hard fought 1-0 might have some fans complaining that the team didn’t perform well enough but I can tell you the players will be pleased as punch to get the points despite playing within themselves. At the end of the day great performances are for the silver screen or Broadway, on the green screen of the football pitch it is only the result that matters.

There are no extra points for autistic impression nor do you lose more than three points if you lose 7-1 instead of 1-0. This is why it was obvious the Blackburn players just gave up on Saturday against Man United. Of course it’s dispiriting to go behind so early in the game but have a bit of balls, stand up and be counted and fight back. For a team so renowned for using their physical strengths Blackburn were like a team made up of players who suffer from osteoporosis and a bad case of yellow fever.

Where was the barging of the keeper? Why didn’t Damien Diouf try and break somebody’s ankle or spit on them as he normally does? How does a 7 foot Harlem Globetrotter like Cherno Samba get beaten in the air by a man who can barely be bothered running let alone jumping?

All questions Blackburn fans would be entitled to ask. Is Sam Allardyce’s crush on Sir Alex Ferguson practically a conflict of interest at this stage? You can be sure Big Sam wouldn’t allow his team to be so timid and obliging in any other fixture.

He doesn’t mind losing to United because he can go in to the United manager’s office afterwards, carrying a bottle of Sicilian red fermented in earthen jars buried in the ground, and wax lyrical about the bouquet and hint of elderberries safe in the knowledge that Ferguson won’t scold him for having the temerity to let his team play their natural game.

I have great admiration for Blackburn Rovers. I once shared a lovely meal with Jack Walker while we were both on holidays in Marbella. The story he told me about Shearer’s fist fight with Tim Sherwood over a local girl who they had both mounted must remain a secret but there’s no doubt the former owner would be turning in his grave at the way his beloved Rovers capitulated on Saturday.

Jesus said, as he broke bread and drank ale with his disciples, ‘Do this in memory of me’. Somebody needs to photoshock Jack Walker’s head onto the Last Supper and stick it up in the Blackburn dressing room.

And  Sam Allardyce needs to stop worrying about the wine he shares with Alex Ferguson. He can’t turn it into water, a lesson that every manager needs to learn at some stage.

In a weekend with plenty of goals, there were a few that really stood out. Dimitar Berbatov has long been associated with moments of sublime skill, so the flowing grace of his hatrick goal won’t have come as any shock. That effort, however, was arguably bettered by a more surprising source. Witness Mark Davies’ equaliser for Bolton against Blackpool:

Tonight, Real Madrid face Barcelona in El Clásico. Exchange the white shirts of Bolton for those of Real Madrid, and this is a goal which wouldn’t look out of place on that stage.

I said the fact that the weekend’s most attractive goal was scored by Bolton was something of a surprise.  That’s not exactly true: it won’t have surprised anyone who has been watching them regularly this season.  Whilst their reputation under Sam Allardyce and Gary Megson was for dour, dull long-ball fare, Owen Coyle has transformed them in to a great team to watch.

It’s a credit to a managerial philosophy that preaches the importance of keeping the ball on the ground, and isn’t afraid to throw men forward.  In Ian Holloway, Coyle has a kindred spirit, so it’s unsurprising that their two teams produced such a thrilling game.  Individuals who had previously looked like they’d never make an impact at this level, the likes of Luke Varney and Johan Elmander, are now among the league’s most effective performers.  The difference?  They’re playing with confidence, belief, and liberty to express themselves.  All of which they owe to their respective managers.

Bolton’s previous guise as long-ball merchants was masterminded by Sam Allardyce.  When given the opportunity at a bigger club, his reductive tactics failed.  The fear for fans of Bolton and Blackpool must be that their current managers’ style is more suited to their potential suitors.  The good work they’ve done will not go unnoticed, and they may soon find their rising stars offered a berth in the league’s upper echelons.

It shouldn’t take anyone by surprise.  The man who once compared being courted by AC Milan to being chatted up by Beyonce is now flirting outrageously with Italian football’s Old Lady, Juventus:

“I’m going to change air during the transfer window in January. And I can tell you that City has already reached an agreement with Juventus for a loan. I therefore expect to be able to leave in December.”

Obviously Man City have denied these quotes, and there is cause for some doubt over their authenticity.  Adebayor might not be the keenest knife in the drawer, but even he must know that leaving in December is going to be tricky, what with the window opening on January 1st.

Adebayor will doubtless deny having said it.  Whether he actually did or not won’t matter.  Lets not forget, this is the same talkative Togolese who told assembled TV journalists he wanted to stay at Arsenal, before turning to the printed press and announcing a desire to leave.  It’s the same Adebayor who has been known to deny quotes that he has been captured saying on camera.  Fiction and reality have long since blurred in his mind, and all that has taken their place are shimmering Pound, Euro and Dollar signs.

When Adebayor talked of being seduced by Beyonce, all he was thinking about was the booty.  And I don’t mean her curves.  Terrible pun aside, you know just what I mean: he’s a mercenary.

I’m not tarring all Manchester City players with the same brush.  For the likes of Gareth Barry, James Milner, and Adam Johnson, moving to City represented a genuine step forward in their career, and the chance to join a club which would improve their long-term prospects of winning trophies.  The same, however, could not be said for Adebayor.

Admittedly, Arsenal practically drove him up to Eastlands in order to take the £25m City were offering, but in the end it was his preposterous contract that convinced him to sign on the dotted line.  It speaks volumes for his character that, only 18 months on, City will be just as keen to offload him when the window opens once again.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was Celtic chairman John Reid questioning their honesty. A former Blairite Home Secretary questioning anyone’s honesty is hypocritical. It’s like Katie Price telling young girls not to get their tits out.

So, the Grade One refs in Scotland have decided to call strike action this weekend. It’s not strike action but a withdrawal of service. They cite fear for themselves and their families after an increase in – unreported – abuse. They have no demands like most strikers have. No manifesto of change that they want to see implemented.

Their strike just seems to be in support of their disgraced colleague and boss who have admitted lying to a SPL manager, falsifying a match report, covering up this lie and only coming clean when it was exposed in a paper. That and they don’t like being told that they are not very good at their job.

The SFA and the SPL were caught by surprise. You see the men in the middle have never informed them of ‘unprecedented levels of abuse’ despite them having regular meetings with the refs. True, Willie Collum did receive some abusive phone calls after the Glasgow derby four weeks ago when he gave a penalty he didn’t see.

They weren’t the death threats that have been reported, Collum has admitted that. Also, the mass media reporting that the linesman involved in Tannadice-Gate, Stephen Craven, resigned due to death threats, again, denied by Craven, are wide of the mark after Craven came out and admitted he resigned due to his treatment from Dougie McDonald and Hugh Dallas in the wake of the Tannadice incident.

The SFA are planning on bringing refs from other associations if an agreement is not reached with the spit-the-dummy officials. This has seen an unprecedented level of vitriol and abuse from the press with the word scab being used to stoke the fire of ill-feeling. A word so outdated it was last used when Aberdeen were successful.

Officials from the SFA and assorted rent-a-gubs have been making sinister quips that this whole thing has sectarian undertones and certain clubs should stop this innuendo. Do you think they are talking about ref’s chief Hugh Dallas who seems to be on gardening leave after being caught sending an e-mail concerning the Pope and child abuse? Or that UEFA have again warned Rangers over their fans witty repertoire?

No, I don’t think so.

Instead of being thanked for having the face to stand up to and point out to the SFA the deteriorating refereeing standards since Hugh Dallas took over as boss – see Craig Thomson’s performance last night in the Ajax v Real Madrid game – plus trying to force the SFA to modernise from the current warren of committees, meetings, lack of transparency in their disciplinary procedures – which saw a referee admit he lied, falsified a match report, cover it up but still keep his job -  Celtic are being vilified in a massive smear campaign that deems them sectarian bigots.

Make no mistake Celtic want blood in all this. Dallas and McDonald must be the first to go. If the refs go on strike this weekend then they should all be sacked for bringing the game into disrepute.

Rip it up and start again.

If that doesn’t happen, can we come and play in England?

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The Lord of the Wing can be found at the Celtic Blog

I think we all know, having been reminded every time there’s any radio programme/tv show/newspaper or magazine article or blog post about Arsenal, that Arsene Wenger’s team have not won a trophy since the FA Cup in 2005.

The pressure is very much on and another campaign with nothing to show at the end of it would make life very uncomfortable for the Frenchman. If not from the Arsenal board at least from a section of the fanbase whose patience has already run out. They’re well positioned in the Carling Cup this year and stand a decent chance. The FA Cup has yet to begin and Europe is still a long way from the point where we can speculate, but if there was one trophy that would restore faith in the manager and the players it would be the Premier League.

Not that anyone would turn their nose up at a cup, from Carling to European, but finishing top of the table after 38 games is a real measure of a team’s quality and character. It would instill a belief in the squad that they could compete and prevail over the course of a season. And you do get the sense that winning something would change this Arsenal side. I don’t mean opening the floodgates, by any means, but having been there and done that makes all the difference.

Yet Arsenal’s home form threatens to derail any serious title tilt and we’re only in November. Already this season they’ve lost three games at the Emirates. Look at the home record since that (in)famous last trophy win:

04-05 – 1 defeat (Man United)
05-06 – 2 defeats (Chelsea, West Ham)
06-07 – 1 defeat (West Ham)
07-08 – unbeaten
08-09 – 3 defeats (Hull City, Aston Villa, Chelsea)
09-10 – 2 defeats (Chelsea, Man United)

Five of the nine home defeats have come against United or Chelsea, fellow title chasers. West Ham took advantage of a broken Sol Campbell and then became the first away team to win at the Emirates. Villa’s win came not long after that. Hull was one of the earliest examples of the complacency some feel dogs this Arsenal side.

This season Arsenal have lost at home to two newly promoted teams, West Brom and Newcastle, and they threw away the North London derby on Saturday. Some might speak of more pressure at home than on the road, the weight of expectation from the home crowd as a burden, but if there’s an expectation it comes from the standards set by Arsene Wenger’s teams down the years.

It’s right that there should be an expecation to beat Newcastle and West Brom. Not because Arsenal have a divine right to do so but because these are the games you expect a team with title ambitions to win. Because neither West Brom nor Newcastle possess the same quality or experience of Arsenal. And when 2-0 up in an important derby game, one that could send you to the top of table, there is no expectation that the lead should be thrown away along with the points.

In 08-09, when Arsenal lost three games at home, they finish fourth, eighteen points behind winners Chelsea. At the moment they’re still in it because Chelsea are going through a bad time and nobody else has taken the chance to go clear.

What’s obvious is that, this season, Arsenal’s home is no kind of fortress, every team in the league will fancy a game there knowing that even being a couple behind is no killer blow. Get one and you could find Arsenal’s weak spot and take something from the game.

Arsenal’s next home game in the league is on December 4th against Fulham. Plenty of time to regroup from the Tottenham game but absolutely no margin for error.

The Premier League is about to get some swagger back. Yesterday, Aston Villa assistant manager Gary McAllister confirmed that Gerard Houllier is in talks with Robert Pires about a return to English football.

“Robert has been training at Arsenal.

I know the boss and Arsene Wenger are very friendly and I believe he’s spoken to him.

It would be perfect. I am sure he would arrive at the training ground in good condition.

He’s a player everyone would look up to because of what he has achieved.”

There aren’t many 37-year olds strutting their stuff in the Premier League, but Pires has the ability to counteract his increasing physiological limitations. His performances in his first spell in the Premier League were quite incredible, and class like that never fades altogether.

A succession of knee problems forced Pires to adapt his game in the more temperate climes of La Liga. He went from a lightening fast winger and goalscorer to creator and keep-ball merchant.

That, judging from Saturday’s match with Man U, is exactly what Villa need. They have plenty of exciting young talent: Barry Bannan, Marc Albrighton and Jonathan Hogg all began the game. But it’s that inexperience which cost them three points. Albrighton repeteadly sought to drive to the byline and cross, when turning back inside and finding a team-mate may have been the more sensible choice. Pires has the experience, cool-head, and passing ability to make that difference.

Just think, too, what Villa’s more senior players could learn from a true Premier League great. Robin van Persie has spoken effusively many times of how watching Pires train improved his game. Imagine what the same could do for Ashley Young: like Pires, a right-footed left-winger or support striker.

And finally, the clincher: it was at Villa Park that Pires helped Andy Gray coin his now trademark ‘Tek a boo, son’, with this, arguably his finest moment in an Arsenal shirt:

Tek a boo, indeed. The Premier League will get to say goodbye to one of its great entertainers – and an Invincible Champion, no less.
If a deal can be done in the next next week or so, Pires could be in line to be a part of the Villa squad on Saturday 27th. Their opponents at Villa Park that day? Arsenal. You couldn’t make it up.

A very quick one and one that will hopefully be picked up on by some Chelsea fans. Would love their thoughts on this.

As the half-time whistle went yesterday Chelsea went in 1-0 down and left the pitch to a chorus of boos. Sure, they didn’t play at all well, almost unrecognisable from the team we’re used to seeing, but isn’t it a bit much to direct that kind of ire at a team who have been so dominant at home for so long?

Onuoha’s goal was the first they’d conceded at home in the league this season yet there was no appreciation of that outstanding record, merely a disapproval that the goal had been conceded.

I realise teams set their own standards and Chelsea’s have been very high indeed but shouldn’t there be more understanding from fans who are there not just to be entertained and to enjoy the good stuff but to support their team when things go badly too? The boos were probably more related to the performance than the goal itself but still.

It’s not just a problem for Chelsea, I don’t mean to single them out, but I just found it extraordinary that after such an incredible defensive record the team was booed for letting in one goal during one bad 45 minutes of football.

Without wanting to take anything away from Jay Bothroyd, who must be delighted with his call up to the England squad, doesn’t it say a lot that a Championship player is in the squad at all?

Bothroyd is described by John Cross, Daily Mirror football writer, as ‘a Premier League star in waiting‘. Yet Bothroyd is no bright young thing, no emerging talent. He’s an experienced but limited pro best known for the way he threw a strop at Arsenal and put paid to any chance of making it with the Gunners. Since then he’s gone from pillar to post, playing for Coventry City, Perugia, Blackburn Rovers, Charlton, Wolves, Stoke and now Cardiff City.

He’s scored an impressive 13 league goals so far this season but with the caveat that these are goals in the Championship. The list of players who score frequently in that league yet fail to do so when they make the step up to the Premier League is long indeed. Let’s face it, Bothroyd is one of them, he’s had his chances in the top flight and failed to make an impact. The Championship appears to be his level.

When you think back to the days when England had Shearer, Sheringham, Wright, Fowler, Ferdinand etc, strikers of real and proven quality, the paucity of options that sees Capello turn turn to a journeyman Championship player, even if it is for a friendly, says a lot about the state of English football talent right now.