Transfer deadline day is the most overhyped, hysterical, nonsensical day in the football calender. Until the other transfer deadline day.
Three and in has got reporters at every ground in the country, each reporter has three mobile phones, an iPad and, in case there’s a massive solar storm which wipes out electronic communications, a courier with a very fast stallion to bring us all the latest information.
Refresh the page for regular updates.
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10.54am - We’re moving to Live Blog mode. ALL ACTION!
10.46am – Hold that thought! Spurs sign Croatia goalkeeper Stipe Pletikosa. As an aside an anagram of Stipe Pletikosa Spurs is ‘Up sloppiest Asterisk’. Spurs unlikely to sign Asterix.
10.37am - Bad news for Spurs fans – Harry Redknapp reportedly refusing to do any business today lest he garner a reputation for being a ‘wheeler and dealer’. “I’m a facking footbawwwl managaaaah”, he tells Talksport.
10.25am – Gylfi Sigurdsson leaves Reading for Hoffenheim, the German club owned by David Hasselhoff.
10.21am - SkyBet currently have Wayne Bridge as odds-on to join Roy Hodgson’s average-English-full-back-based revolution at Anfield.
10.12am - Senegalese defender Pape Diakhate has joined Lyon on loan from Dinamo Kiev. Fans of Man United’s nominative-driven recruitment policy will be disappointed not to see him join up with Bebe, Nani, and Mame Diouf.
09.55am – Shay Given says he’s staying at Manchester City for ‘footballing reasons’. “With my new improved pay deal I could buy a trillion Jabulanis”.
09.36am – James, in the comments, says his sources tell him Robbie Keane is off to Celtic. My sources tell me Robbie Keane is just off. The smell is described as ‘appalling’.
09.32am – We have just had breakfast. My bacon was super crispy. Robinho is still discussing terms with AC Milan and Fenerbache. His agent says ‘To be honest, we’d take anywhere that isn’t Manchester’.
08.43am – Shay Given and Emmanuel Adebayor confirmed as staying with Man City. Spurs fans rejoice. Arsenal fans worry that Schwarzer deal will not go through. Lukasz Fabianski sits at home praying for an Almunia injury.
08.39am – The deadline in Scotland is 12 midnight. That’s an extra 6 hours of crazy!
08.36am – News reaching us that Spurs are trying to sign the entire West Ham squad. David Sullivan tells Harry Redknapp to go and do what he told Sky Sports to do.
I’m hearing from my sources that Robbie Keane is off to Celtic.
Aye, I’ve locked Keane in my hut. He’s cutting my grass as we speak.
No, seemingly there is loads of Tv crews at CP, but then we are unveiling Anthony Stokes in the next few hours….
[...] If it all gets a bit much for you, you can take a lighter-hearted look at the whole thing over on Threeandin. [...]
A source close to Stoke City’s Pottermus Hippo tells me Werder Bremen are after Evan Handler, the actor who played Charlotte’s husband on Sex and the City, to partner new signing Mikael Silvestre.
He is almost certainly a better footballer.